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One holds a bottle of red wine by the neck, a woman by the waist, and a bottle of champagne by the derriere.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Bottles
Necks
Holds
Red
Wine
Waist
Woman
Champagne
Bottle
Neck
More quotes by Mark Twain
Shut the door not that it lets in the cold but that it lets out the coziness.
Mark Twain
If you invent two or three people and turn them loose in your manuscript, something is bound to happen to them -- you can't help it and then it will take you the rest of the book to get them out of the natural consequences of that occurrence, and so first thing you know, there's your book all finished up and never cost you an idea.
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And so I am become a knight of the Kingdom of Dreams and Shadows
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Fortune knocks at every man's door once in a life, but in a good many cases the man is in a neighboring saloon and does not hear her.
Mark Twain
His money is twice tainted: taint yours and taint mine.
Mark Twain
Distance lends enchantment to the view.
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Bridgeport? Said I. Camelot, Said he.
Mark Twain
When there was room on the ledge outside of the pots and boxes for a cat, the cat was there- in sunny weather- stretched at full length, asleep and blissful, with her furry belly to the sun and a paw curved over her nose.
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...nothing so liberalizes a man and expands the kindly instincts that nature put in him as travel and contact with many kinds of people.
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Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.
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Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.
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We have the best government that money can buy.
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It is hopeless for the occasional visitor to try to keep up with Chicago-she outgrows his prophecies faster than he can make them. She is always a novelty for she is never the Chicago you saw when you passed through the last time.
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Sacred cows make the best hamburger.
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The unexamined life may not be worth living, but the life too closely examined may not be lived at all.
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You can't no more teach what you ain't learned than you can come from where you ain't been.
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If there wasn't anything to find out, it would be dull. Even trying to find out and not finding out is just as interesting as trying to find out and finding out and I don't know but more so.
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Oh Death where is thy sting! It has none. But life has.
Mark Twain
There is a sumptuous variety about the New England weather... In the spring I have counted one hundred and twenty-six different kinds of weather inside of four and twenty hours.
Mark Twain
If you don't like the weather in New England now, just wait a few minutes.
Mark Twain
