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My advice to girls: first, don't smoke - to excess second, don't drink - to excess third, don't marry - to excess.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Firsts
Smoke
First
Thirds
Girls
Advice
Marriage
Drink
Excess
Second
Marry
Girl
Third
More quotes by Mark Twain
When the end of the world comes, I want to be in Kentucky, because everything there happens 20 years after it happens anywhere else.
Mark Twain
There are people who strictly deprive themselves of each and every eatable, drinkable, and smokable which has in any way acquired a shady reputation. They pay this price for health. And health is all they get for it. How strange it is. It is like paying out your whole fortune for a cow that has gone dry.
Mark Twain
Self-approval is acquired mainly from the approval of other people.
Mark Twain
The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.
Mark Twain
India has two million gods, and worships them all. In religion all other countries are paupers India is the only millionaire.
Mark Twain
Until I came to New Mexico, I never realized how much beauty water adds to a river.
Mark Twain
Methuselah lived to be 969 years old . You boys and girls will see more in the next fifty years than Methuselah saw in his whole lifetime.
Mark Twain
I heard a Californian student in Heidelberg say, in one of his calmest moods, that he would rather decline two drinks than one German adjective.
Mark Twain
Each season brings a world of enjoyment and interest in the watching of its unfolding, its gradual harmonious development, its culminating graces-and just as one begins to tire of it, it passes away and a radical change comes, with new witcheries and new glories in its train.
Mark Twain
His money is twice tainted: taint yours and taint mine.
Mark Twain
Concentration of power in a political machine is bad and an Established Church is only a political machine it was invented for that it is nursed, cradled, preserved for that it is an enemy to human liberty, and does no good which it could not better do in a split-up and scattered condition.
Mark Twain
Every civilization carries the seeds of its own destruction, and the same cycle shows in them all. The Republic is born, flourishes, decays into plutocracy, and is captured by the shoemaker whom the mercenaries and millionaires make into a king. The people invent their oppressors, and the oppressors serve the function for which they are invented.
Mark Twain
But it was ever thus, all through my life: whenever I have diverged from custom and principle and uttered a truth, the rule has been that the hearer hadn't strength of mind enough to believe it.
Mark Twain
History doesn't repeat itself it rhymes.
Mark Twain
I have tried getting up early, and I have tried getting up late-and the latter agrees with me best.
Mark Twain
I am losing enough sleep to supply a worn-out army.
Mark Twain
The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.
Mark Twain
I have been born more times than anybody except Krishna.
Mark Twain
Familiarity breeds contempt. How accurate that is. The reason we hold truth in such respect is because we have so little opportunity to get familiar with it.
Mark Twain
A man who keeps company with glaciers comes to feel tolerably insignificant by and by.
Mark Twain