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My advice to girls: first, don't smoke - to excess second, don't drink - to excess third, don't marry - to excess.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Advice
Marriage
Drink
Excess
Second
Marry
Girl
Third
Firsts
Smoke
First
Thirds
Girls
More quotes by Mark Twain
We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it and stop there lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove lid again and that is well but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.
Mark Twain
I have spent most of my life worrying about things that have never happened.
Mark Twain
An American has not seen the United States until he has seen Mardi-Gras in New Orleans.
Mark Twain
I was exceedingly delighted with the waltz, and also with the polka. These differ in name, but there the difference ceases
Mark Twain
I've never let my school interfere with my education.
Mark Twain
I have done more for San Francisco than any of its old residents. Since I left there it has increased in population fully 300,000. I could have done more - I could have gone earlier - it was suggested.
Mark Twain
To place man properly at the present time, he stands somewhere between the angels and the French.
Mark Twain
Who is this Renaissance? Where did he come from? Who gave him permission to cram the Republic with his execrable daubs?
Mark Twain
Creed and opinion change with time, and their symbols perish but Literature and its temples are sacred to all creeds and inviolate.
Mark Twain
You can never find a Christian who has acquired this valuable knowledge, this saving knowledge, by any process but the everlasting and all-sufficient 'people say.'
Mark Twain
I like the truth sometimes, but I don't care enough for it to hanker after it.
Mark Twain
It is easy to find fault, if one has that disposition. There was once a man who, not being able to find any other fault with his coal, complained that there were too many prehistoric toads in it.
Mark Twain
I am not interested to know whether vivisection produces results that are profitable to the human race or doesn't...The pain which it inflicts upon unconsenting animals is the basis of my enmity toward it, and it is to me sufficient justification of the enmity without looking further.
Mark Twain
Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge.
Mark Twain
When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.
Mark Twain
I have no race prejudices, and I think I have no color prejudices or caste prejudices nor creed prejudices. Indeed I know it. I can stand any society. All that I care to know is that a man is a human being-that is enough for me he can't be any worse.
Mark Twain
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
Mark Twain
Optimist: day-dreamer in his small clothes.
Mark Twain
The report of my death was an exaggeration.
Mark Twain
The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are in the wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
Mark Twain
