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When a man's dog turns against hime, it is time for his wife to pack her trunk and go home to mamma.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Wife
Turns
Mamma
Home
Trunk
Men
Trunks
Time
Pack
Packs
Dog
Humor
More quotes by Mark Twain
What do you think of the human mind? I mean, in case you think there is a human mind.
Mark Twain
Cats are the wildest of the tame and the tamest of the wild
Mark Twain
Wit and Humor - if any difference, it is in duration - lightning and electric light. Same material, apparently but one is vivid, and can do damage - the other fools along and enjoys elaboration.
Mark Twain
Often a quite assified remark becomes sanctified by use and petrified by custom it is then a permanency, its term of activity a geologic period.
Mark Twain
If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat.
Mark Twain
You want to be very careful about lying otherwise you are nearly sure to get caught.
Mark Twain
Marriage -- yes, it is the supreme felicity of life. I concede it. And it is also the supreme tragedy of life. The deeper the love the surer the tragedy. And the more disconsolating when it comes.
Mark Twain
The more you join with people in their joys and their sorrows, the more nearer and dearer they come to be to you.
Mark Twain
Do something everyday that you don't want to do this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.
Mark Twain
Frankenstein took some flesh and bones and blood and made a man out of them the man ran away and fell to raping and robbing and murdering everywhere, and Frankenstein was horrified and in despair, and said, I made him, without asking his consent, and it makes me responsible for every crime he commits. I am the criminal, he is innocent.
Mark Twain
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
Mark Twain
Let us draw the curtain of charity over the rest of this scene
Mark Twain
I said nothing of the sort.
Mark Twain
By law of periodical repetition, everything which has happened once must happen again and again -- and not capriciously, but at regular periods, and each thing in its own period, not another's and each obeying its own law.
Mark Twain
In Marseilles they make half the toilet soap we consume in America, but the Marseillaise only have a vague theoretical idea of its use, which they have obtained from books of travel.
Mark Twain
Drop this mean and sordid and selfish devotion to the saving of your shabby little souls, and hunt up something to do that's got some dignity to it! Risk your souls! Risk them in good causes then if you lose them, why should you care? Reform!
Mark Twain
Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.
Mark Twain
Heaven is by favor if it were by merit your dog would go in and you would stay out. Of all the creatures ever made (man) is the most detestable. Of the entire brood, he is the only one... that possesses malice. He is the only creature that inflicts pain for sport, knowing it to be pain.
Mark Twain
One must travel, to learn. Every day, now, old Scriptural phrases that never possessed any significance for me before, take to themselves a meaning.
Mark Twain
The most outrageous lies that can be invented will find believers if a person only tells them with all his might.
Mark Twain