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When a man's dog turns against hime, it is time for his wife to pack her trunk and go home to mamma.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Men
Trunks
Time
Pack
Packs
Dog
Humor
Wife
Turns
Mamma
Home
Trunk
More quotes by Mark Twain
When a library expels a book of mine and leaves an unexpurgated Bible lying around where unprotected youth and age can get hold of it, the deep unconscious irony of it delights me and doesn't anger me.
Mark Twain
Balloon: Thing to take meteroric observations and commit suicide with.
Mark Twain
Modesty antedates clothes and will be resumed when clothes are no more.
Mark Twain
Never refuse to do a kindness unless the act would work great injury to yourself, and never refuse to take a drink - under any circumstances.
Mark Twain
Data is like garbage. You'd better know what you are going to do with it before you collect it.
Mark Twain
Unused talents gives you no advantage over someone who has no talent at all.
Mark Twain
Memories which someday will become all beautiful when the last annoyance that encumbers them shall have faded out of our minds.
Mark Twain
The human race is a race of cowards and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.
Mark Twain
Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of growths
Mark Twain
Politicians, old buildings, and prostitutes become respectable with age.
Mark Twain
The election makes me think of a story of a man who was dying. He had only two minutes to live, so he sent for a clergyman and asked him, Where is the best place to go to? He was undecided about it. So the minister told him that each place had its advantages--heaven for climate, and hell for society.
Mark Twain
We despise no source that can pay us a pleasing attention.
Mark Twain
The fact is, the king was a good deal more than a king, he was a man and when a man is a man, you can't knock it out of him.
Mark Twain
Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.
Mark Twain
Do something everyday that you don't want to do.
Mark Twain
Never tell a lie-except for practice.
Mark Twain
To eat is human, to digest, divine
Mark Twain
I had longed to be a butterfly, and I was one at last. I attended private parties in sumptuous evening dress, simpered and aired my graces like a born beau, and polkaed and schoisched with a step peculiar to myself - and the kangaroo.
Mark Twain
Cats are the wildest of the tame and the tamest of the wild
Mark Twain
The best cure for Christianity is reading the Bible.
Mark Twain
