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When a man's dog turns against hime, it is time for his wife to pack her trunk and go home to mamma.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Time
Pack
Packs
Dog
Humor
Wife
Turns
Mamma
Home
Trunk
Men
Trunks
More quotes by Mark Twain
Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from making bad decisions.
Mark Twain
All say, ‘how hard it is that we have to die’ -- a strange complaint to come from the mouths of those who have had to live.
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I don't see any use in having a uniform and arbitrary way of spelling words. We might as well make all clothes alike and cook all dishes alike. Sameness is tiresome variety is pleasing.
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There are no people who are quite so vulgar as the over-refined.
Mark Twain
Religion consists in a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain of.
Mark Twain
We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world and it's efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't read-
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I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.
Mark Twain
And so when I couldn't stand it no longer, I lit out. I got into my old rags and my sugar-hogshead again, and was free and satisfied.
Mark Twain
Is not this insanity plea becoming rather common? Is it not so common that the reader confidently expects to see it offered in every criminal case that comes before the courts?... Really, what we want now, is not laws against crime, but a law against insanity.
Mark Twain
the more I know about people, the better I like my dogs.
Mark Twain
All Congresses and Parliaments have a kindly feeling for idiots, and a compassion for them, on account of personal experience and heredity.
Mark Twain
Praise is well, compliment is well, but affection-that is the last and most precious reward that any man can win, whether by character or achievement.
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You know that kind of quiver that trembles around through you when you are seeing something so strange and enchanting and wonderful that it is just a fearful joy to be alive and look at it and you know how you gaze, and your lips turn dry and your breath comes short, but you wouldn't be anywhere but there, not for the world.
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We Americans are the most lavish and showiest and most luxury loving people on the earth and at our masthead we fly one true and honest symbol, the gaudiest flag the world has ever seen.
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We all do no end of feeling, and we mistake it for thinking.
Mark Twain
Such is luck! And such the treatment which honest, good perservance gets so often at the hands of unfair and malicious Nature!
Mark Twain
When majority is insane, sane must go to asylum.
Mark Twain
Don't go to sleep, so many people die there.
Mark Twain
There ain't anything that is so interesting to look at as a place that a book has talked about.
Mark Twain
The dog is a gentleman I hope to go to his heaven not man's.
Mark Twain