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Really, what we want now, is not laws against crime, but a law against insanity. That is where the true evil lies.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Crime
Law
Lying
Evil
True
Really
Insanity
Laws
Lies

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There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.
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We all do no end of feeling, and we mistake it for thinking.
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Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion - several of them.
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Change is the handmaiden Nature requires to do her miracles with.
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I would have written a shorter letter, but I did not have the time.
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When a man's dog turns against hime, it is time for his wife to pack her trunk and go home to mamma.
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The best cure for Christianity is reading the Bible.
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As for the dinosaur - But Noah's conscience was easy it was not named in his cargo list and he and the boys were not aware that there was such a creature. He said he could not blame himself for not knowing about the dinosaur, because it was an American animal and America had not then been discovered.
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I know all those people. I have friendly, social, and criminal relations with the whole lot of them.
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Anyone who can only think of one way to spell a word obviously lacks imagination.
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Some people get an education without going to college. The rest get it after they get out.
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To me [Edgar Allen Poe's] prose is unreadable—like Jane Austin's [sic]. No there is a difference. I could read his prose on salary, but not Jane's. Jane is entirely impossible. It seems a great pity that they allowed her to die a natural death.
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Every time you stop a school, you will have to build a jail.
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Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of growths
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I like Joan of Arc best of all my books and it is the best I know it perfectly well.
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But old fools is the biggest fools there is.
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Gratitude is a debt which usually goes on accumulating like blackmail the more you pay, the more is exacted.
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Success is a journey, not a destination. It requires constant effort, vigilance and reevaluation.
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If a spectacle is going to be particularly imposing I prefer to see it through somebody else's eyes, because that man will always exaggerate. Then I can exaggerate his exaggeration, and my account of the thing will be the most impressive.
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Now he found out a new thing--namely, that to promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing.
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