Quote

There are 869 different forms of lying, but only one of them has been squarely forbidden. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Form
Witness
Different
Neighbor
False
Thou
Bear
Forms
Squarely
Bears
Shalt
Lying
Forbidden

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True irreverence is disrespect for another man's god.
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The pulpit and the optimist are always talking about the human race's steady march toward ultimate perfection. As usual, they leave out the statistics. It is the pulpit's way - the optimist's way.
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God only exhibits his thunder and lightning at intervals, and so they always command attention.
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Half of the results of a good intentions are evil half the results of an evil intention are good.
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If work were so pleasant, the rich would keep it for themselves.
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It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
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Men are easily dealt with--but when you get the women started, you are in for it, you know.
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I heard a Californian student in Heidelberg say, in one of his calmest moods, that he would rather decline two drinks than one German adjective.
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Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
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The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
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It was enough to make a body ashamed of the human race.
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A pessimist is a well-informed optimist.
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I have spent most of my life worrying about things that have never happened.
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I ordinarily smoke fifteen cigars during my five hours' labours, and if my interest reaches the enthusiastic point, I smoke more. I smoke with all my might, and allow no intervals.
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I have been studying the traits and dispositions of the lower animals (so called) and contrasting them with the traits and dispositions of man. I find the result humiliating to me.
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Difference between savage and civilized man: one is painted, the other gilded.
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You may call a jay a bird. Well, so he is, in a measure--because he's got feathers on him, and don't belong to no church, perhapsbut otherwise he is just as much a human as you be. And I'll tell you for why. A jay's gifts and instincts, and feelings, and interests, cover the whole ground. A jay hasn't got any more principle than a Congressman.
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What do you think of the human mind? I mean, in case you think there is a human mind.
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