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In the South the war is what A.D. is elsewhere they date from it.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Southern
South
War
Elsewhere
Date
More quotes by Mark Twain
Humor is man's greatest blessing.
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The best of us would rather be popular than right.
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What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.
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When one reads Bibles, one is less surprised at what the Deity knows than at what He doesn't know.
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Consider the average intelligence of the common man, then realize 50% are even stupider.
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You thunder and lightning too much the reader ceases to get under the bed, by and by.
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Shut the door not that it lets in the cold but that it lets out the coziness.
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The world has corrected the Bible. The church never corrects it and also never fails to drop in at the tail of the procession-and take the credit of the correction.
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Some things you can't find out but you will never know you can't by guessing and supposing: no, you have to be patient and go on experimenting until you find out that you can't find out.
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Circumstances make man, not man circumstances.
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One is apt to overestimate beauty when it is rare
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Duties are not performed for duty's sake, but because their neglect would make the man uncomfortable. A man performs but one duty - the duty of contenting his spirit, the duty of making himself agreeable to himself.
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To gnaw on is human, towards digest, divine.
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At noon I observed a bevy of nude young native women bathing in the sea, and I went and sat down on their clothes to keep them from being stolen.
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Names are not always what they seem. The common Welsh name Bzjxxllwcp is pronounced Jackson.
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Laughter is the greatest weapon we have and we, as humans, use it the least.
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There is no security in life, only opportunity.
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I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.
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Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.
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Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress but I repeat myself.
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