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In the South the war is what A.D. is elsewhere they date from it.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Date
Southern
South
War
Elsewhere

More quotes by Mark Twain

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Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress but I repeat myself.
Mark Twain
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The Indian may seem poor to we rich Westerners but in matters of the spirit it is we who are the paupers and they who are millionaires.
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Humorists of the 'mere' sort cannot survive. Humor is only a fragrance, a decoration.
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You need not expect to get your book right the first time. Go to work and revamp or rewrite it. God only exhibits his thunder and lightning at intervals, and so they always command attention. These are God's adjectives. You thunder and lightning too much the reader ceases to get under the bed, by and by.
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When someone dies, it is like when your house burns down it isn't for years that you realize the full extent of your loss.
Mark Twain
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The pulpit and the optimist are always talking about the human race's steady march toward ultimate perfection. As usual, they leave out the statistics. It is the pulpit's way - the optimist's way.
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There is nothing in the world like a persuasive speech to fuddle the mental apparatus and upset the convictions and debauch the emotions of an audience not practiced in the tricks and delusions of oratory
Mark Twain
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Only a government that is rich and safe can afford to be a democracy, for democracy is the most expensive and nefarious kind of government ever heard of on earth
Mark Twain
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A person who has a cat by the tail knows a whole lot more about cats than someone who has just read about them.
Mark Twain
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Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.
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Be respectful to your superiors, if you have any.
Mark Twain
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I have a religion-but you will call it blasphemy. It is that there is a God for the rich man but none for the poor.....Perhaps your religion will sustain you,will feed you-I place no dependence in mine. Our religions are alike, though, in one respect-neither can make a man happy when he is out of luck.
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A little more kindness, A little less speed, A little more giving, A little less greed, A little more smile, A little less frown, A little less kicking, A man while he's down, A little more We, A little less I, A little more laugh, A little less cry, A little more flowers, On the pathway of life, And fewer on graves, At the end of the stri
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What work I have done I have done because it has been play. If it had been work I shouldn't have done it. . . . The work that is really a man's own work is play and not work at all. . . . When we talk about the great workers of the world we really mean the great players of the world.
Mark Twain
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Fortune knocks at every man's door once in a life, but in a good many cases the man is in a neighboring saloon and does not hear her.
Mark Twain
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I have found out that there ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.
Mark Twain
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Ours is the land of the free-nobody denies that-nobody challenges it. (Maybe it is because we won't let other people testify.)
Mark Twain
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It is better to be a young June-bug than an old bird of paradise.
Mark Twain
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But the elastic heart of youth cannot be compressed into one constrained shape long at a time.
Mark Twain
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There ain't nothing more to write about and I'm rotten glad of it, because if I'd know'd what trouble it was to make a book, I wouldn't a tackled it.
Mark Twain