Quote

The piano may do for love-sick girls who lace themselves to skeletons, and lunch on chalk, pickles and slate pencils, but give me the banjo.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Sick
Slate
Girl
Lace
Give
Skeletons
May
Pencils
Giving
Southern
Banjo
Love
Lunch
Banjos
Piano
Pickles
Girls
Chalk

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Those people.... early stricken of God, intellectually - the departmental interpreters of the laws in Washington... can always be depended on to take any reasonably good law and interpret the common sense all out of it.
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In God We Trust. It is the choicest compliment that has ever been paid us, and the most gratifying to our feelings. It is simple, direct, gracefully phrased it always sounds well - In God We Trust. I don't believe it would sound any better if it were true.
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Morals consist of political morals, commercial morals, ecclesiastical morals, and morals.
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I begin to see that a man's got to be in his own heaven to be happy.
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The equator was wisely put where it is, because if it had been run through Europe all the kings would have tried to grab it.
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Indecency, vulgarity, obscenity - these are strictly confined to man he invented them. Among the higher animals there is no trace of them. They hide nothing. They are not ashamed.
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Laughter is the greatest weapon we have and we, as humans, use it the least.
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There are 869 different forms of lying, but only one of them has been squarely forbidden. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.
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When you catch an adjective, kill it. No, I don't mean utterly, but kill most of them--then the rest will be valuable. They weaken when they are close together. They give strength when they are far apart.
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If one is honest there is no need to remember.
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Those who do not read have no advantage over those who cannot read.
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when we badly want a thing, we go to hunting for good and righteous reasons for it we give it that fine name to comfort our consciences, whereas we privately know we are only hunting for plausible ones.
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Seasickness: at first you are so sick you are afraid you will die, and then you are so sick you are afraid you won't die.
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You can have brilliant ideas, but if you can't get them across, your ideas won't get you anywhere. Lee Iacocca Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.
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The unexamined life may not be worth living, but the life too closely examined may not be lived at all.
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It consists mainly of the storm of thoughts that is forever blowing through one's head.
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To be great, truly great, you have to be the kind of person who makes the others around you great.
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When whole races and peoples conspire to propagate gigantic mute lies in the interest of tyrannies and shams, why should we care anything about the trifling lies told by individuals?
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If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.
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My mind changes often ... People who have no mind can easily be steadfast and firm, but when a man is loaded down to the guards with it, as I am, every heavy sea of foreboding or inclination, maybe of indolence, shifts the cargo.
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