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Progressive improvement beats delayed perfection.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Improvement
Excellence
Beats
Perfection
Delayed
Progressive

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Ignorance, intolerance, egotism, self-assertion, opaque perception, dense and pitiful chuckle headedness - and an almost pathetic unconsciousness of it all, that is what I was at nineteen and twenty.
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Travel is lethal to prejudice.
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We all like to see people sea-sick when we are not ourselves.
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In my schoolboy days I had no aversion to slavery. I was not aware there was anything wrong about it. No-one arraigned it in my hearing the local papers said nothing against it the local pulpit taught us that God approved it, that it was a holy thing, and that the doubter need only look in the Bible if he wished to settle his mind.
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Experience comes from bad judgment.
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There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce.
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What a world of trouble those who never marry escape! There are many happy matches, it is true, and sometimes my dear, and my love come from the heart but what sensible bachelor, rejoicing in his freedom and years of discretion, will run the tremendous risk?
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There ain't no way to find out why a snorer can't hear himself snore.
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While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats.
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A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.
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Learn from the mistakes of others - you won't live long enough to make them all yourself. He's opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer him the position.
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Slang in a woman's mouth is not obscene, it only sounds so.
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The frankest and freest and privatest product of the human mind and heart is a love letter.
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How easy it is to make people believe a lie, and [how] hard it is to undo that work again!
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My books are like water those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.
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Sagebrush is a very fair fuel, but as a vegetable it is a distinguished failure. Nothing can abide the taste of it but the jackass and his illegitimate child the mule.
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When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
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The smallest minds and the selfishest souls and the cowardliest hearts that God makes.
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Probably there is an imperceptible touch of something permanent that one feels instinctively to adhere to true humour, whereas wit may be the mere conversational shooting up of smartness--a bright feather, to be blown into space the second after it is launched...Wit seems to be counted a very poor relation to Humour....Humour is never artifici
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A good lawyer knows the law a clever one takes the judge to lunch.
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