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When a man arrives at great prosperity God did it: when he falls into disaster he did it himself.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Men
Arrives
Falls
Disaster
Prosperity
Failure
Fall
Great

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When you feel like tellin a feller to go to the devil - tell him to go to Chicago - it'll anser every purpose, and is perhaps, a leetle more expensive.
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I wish I could make him understand that a loving good heart is riches enough, and that without it intellect is poverty.
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It will take mind and memory months and possibly years to gather together the details, and thus learn and know the whole extent of the loss.
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Being rich ain't what it's cracked up to be. It's just worry and worry, and sweat and sweat, and a-wishing you was dead all the time.
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There are people who think that honesty is always the best policy. This is a superstition. There are times when the appearance of it is worth six of it.
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We are all beggars, each in his own way.
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I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.
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That is just the way with some people. They get down on a thing when they don’t know nothing about it.
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I have been born more times than anybody except Krishna.
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[I] shall never use profanity except in discussing house rent and taxes. Indeed, upon second thought, I will not use it then, for it is unchristian, inelegant, and degrading--though to speak truly I do not see how house rent and taxes are going to be discussed worth a cent without it.
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Education is what you must acquire without any interference from your schooling.
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It is a good idea to obey all the rules when you're young just so you'll have the strength to break them when you're old.
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There are laws to protect the freedom of the press's speech, but none that are worth anything to protect the people from the press
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When angry, count to four when very angry, swear.
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when you recollect something which belonged in an earlier chapter, do not go back, but jam it in where you are . Discursiveness does not hurt an autobiography in the least.
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As for the dinosaur - But Noah's conscience was easy it was not named in his cargo list and he and the boys were not aware that there was such a creature. He said he could not blame himself for not knowing about the dinosaur, because it was an American animal and America had not then been discovered.
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The ability to find solutions to life's challenges is what makes us grow as a person.
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Every generalization is dangerous, especially this one.
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I try never to let my schooling get in the way of my education.
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Many people have the reasoning facility, but no one uses it in religious matters.
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