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When a man arrives at great prosperity God did it: when he falls into disaster he did it himself.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Great
Men
Arrives
Falls
Disaster
Prosperity
Failure
Fall

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The cigar-box which the European calls a 'lift' needs but to be compared with our elevators to be appreciated. The lift stops to reflect between floors. That is all right in a hearse, but not in elevators. The American elevator acts like a man's patent purge-it works.
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If you do read the newspaper you are misinformed.
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Comedy keeps the heart sweet but we all know that there is wholesome refreshment for both mind and heart in an occasional climb among the pomps of the intellectual snow-summits built by Shakespeare and those others.
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Choosing not to read is like closing an open door to paradise
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How easy it is to make people believe a lie, and [how] hard it is to undo that work again!
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Everybody lies...every day, every hour, awake, asleep, in his dreams, in his joy, in his mourning. If he keeps his tongue still his hands, his feet, his eyes, his attitude will convey deception.
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In early times some sufferer had to sit up with a toothache, and he put in the time inventing the German language.
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The fact is, the king was a good deal more than a king, he was a man and when a man is a man, you can't knock it out of him.
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Sagebrush is a very fair fuel, but as a vegetable it is a distinguished failure. Nothing can abide the taste of it but the jackass and his illegitimate child the mule.
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Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
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You need not expect to get your book right the first time. Go to work and revamp or rewrite it. God only exhibits his thunder and lightning at intervals, and so they always command attention. These are God's adjectives. You thunder and lightning too much the reader ceases to get under the bed, by and by.
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Gratitude and treachery are merely the two extremities of the same procession. You have seen all of it that is worth staying for when the band and the gaudy officials have gone by.
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The heart is the real fountain of youth.
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He was endowed with a stupidity which by the least little stretch would go around the globe four times and tie.
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I know all those people. I have friendly, social, and criminal relations with the whole lot of them.
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They say that you can't live by bread alone, but I can live on compliments.
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These people´s God has shown them by a million acts that he respects none of the Bible´s statues. He breaks every one of them himself, adultery and all.
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He charged nothing for his preaching and it was worth it too.
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The truth is a precious commodity. That's why I use it so sparingly.
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...there isn't often anything in Wagner opera that one would call by such a violent name as acting.
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