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When a man arrives at great prosperity God did it: when he falls into disaster he did it himself.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Failure
Fall
Great
Men
Arrives
Falls
Disaster
Prosperity

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Those who do not read the news are uninformed. Those who do are misinformed.
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I pledged myself to smoke but one cigar a day. I kept the cigar waiting until bedtime, then I had a luxurious time with it. But desire persecuted me every day and all day long. I found myself hunting for larger cigars...within the month my cigar had grown to such proportions I could have used it as a crutch.
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Let us consider that we are all insane. It will explain us to each other. It will unriddle many riddles
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Writing is easy. All you have to do is cross out the wrong words.
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To forget pain is to be painless to forget care is to be rid of it to go abroad is to accomplish both.
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If you don't like the weather in New England now, just wait a few minutes.
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None but the dead have free speech.
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The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.
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There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.
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Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live. To live a fulfilled life, we need to keep creating the what is next, of our lives. Without dreams and goals there is no living, only merely existing, and that is not why we are here.
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Rags, wretchedness, poverty and dirt, those signs and symbols that indicate the presence of [Muslim] rule more surely than the crescent-flag itself, abound.
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The very marks on the bottom of a piece of rare crockery are able to throw me into a gibbering ecstasy.
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when you recollect something which belonged in an earlier chapter, do not go back, but jam it in where you are . Discursiveness does not hurt an autobiography in the least.
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When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn't want to be seen with him in public. When I was 24, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years.
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I have been studying the traits and dispositions of the lower animals (so called) and contrasting them with the traits and dispositions of man. I find the result humiliating to me.
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It was on the 10th day of May - 1884 - that I confessed to age by mounting spectacles for the first time, and in the same hour I renewed my youth, to outward appearance, by mounting a bicycle for the first time. The spectacles stayed on.
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There are people who strictly deprive themselves of each and every eatable, drinkable, and smokable which has in any way acquired a shady reputation. They pay this price for health. And health is all they get for it. How strange it is. It is like paying out your whole fortune for a cow that has gone dry.
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An open mind leaves a chance for someone to drop a worthwhile thought in it.
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The critic's symbol should be the tumble-bug: he deposits his egg in somebody else's dung, otherwise he could not hatch it.
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When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
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