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It is your human environment that makes climate

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Climate
Environment
Humanity
Makes
Human
Humans
People
Humorists
Novelists

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We have the best government that money can buy.
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Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.
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The idea that a baby doesn't amount to anything! Why, one baby is just a house and a front yard full by itself. One baby can, furnish more business than you and your whole Interior Department can attend to. He is enterprising, irrepressible, brimful of lawless activities.
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There is nothing more awe-inspiring than a miracle except the credulity that can take it at par.
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A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read.
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Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July and as a rule they don't know what happened on either occasion.
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The gentle reader will never, never know what a consummate ass he can become until he goes abroad.
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Honor is a harder master than the law.
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He charged nothing for his preaching and it was worth it too.
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Public Servant: Persons chosen by the people to distribute the graft.
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The catfish is Plenty good enough fish for anyone
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Let your secret sympathies and your compassion be always with the under dog in the fight -- this is magnanimity but bet on the other one -- this is business.
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It is easier for a cannibal to enter the Kingdom of Heaven through the eye of a rich man's needle that it is for any other foreigner to read the terrible German script.
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Tom appeared on the sidewalk with a bucket of whitewash and a long-handled brush. He surveyed the fence, and all gladness left him and a deep melancholy settled down upon his spirit. Thirty yards of board fence nine feet high. Life to him seemed hollow, and existence but a burden.
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The world has corrected the Bible. The church never corrects it and also never fails to drop in at the tail of the procession-and take the credit of the correction.
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It has always been a peculiarity of the human race that it keeps two sets of morals in stock-the private and the real, and the public and the artificial.
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Life does not consist mainly - or even largely - of facts and happenings.
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There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.
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A better idea than my own is to listen.
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I had longed to be a butterfly, and I was one at last. I attended private parties in sumptuous evening dress, simpered and aired my graces like a born beau, and polkaed and schoisched with a step peculiar to myself - and the kangaroo.
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