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Some of us cannot be optimists, but all of us can be bigamists

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Optimists
Optimist
Optimism
Cannot

More quotes by Mark Twain

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It's my opinion that every one I know has morals, though I wouldn't like to ask. I know I have. But I'd rather teach them than practice them any day. Give them to others-that's my motto.
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Annihilation has no terrors for me, because I have already tried it before I was born --a hundred million years --and I have suffered more in an hour, in this life, than I remember to have suffered in the whole hundred million years put together.
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I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want.
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The convention missionaries call modesty has no standard, and cannot have one, because it is opposed to nature and reason and is therefore an artificiality and subject to anybody's whim - anybody's diseased caprice.
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Wisdom teaches us that none but birds should go out early, and that not even birds should do it unless they are out of worms.
Mark Twain
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In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
Mark Twain
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To string incongruities and absurdities together in a wandering and sometimes purposeless way, and seem innocently unaware that they are absurdities, is the basis of the American art, if my position is correct.
Mark Twain
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I've come loaded with statistics, for I've noticed that a man can't prove anything without statistics. No man can.
Mark Twain
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I'm pushing 60 years of age...and that's enough exercise for me.
Mark Twain
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When a man's dog turns against hime, it is time for his wife to pack her trunk and go home to mamma.
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Additional problems are the offspring of poor solutions.
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Self-approval is acquired mainly from the approval of other people.
Mark Twain
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His money is twice tainted: taint yours and taint mine.
Mark Twain
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If you tell the truth you do not need a good memory!
Mark Twain
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My advice to girls: first, don't smoke - to excess second, don't drink - to excess third, don't marry - to excess.
Mark Twain
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It is your human environment that makes climate
Mark Twain
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The time to begin writing an article is when you have finished it to your satisfaction. By that time you begin to clearly and logically perceive what it is you really want to say.
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I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.
Mark Twain
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Heaven is the very last place to come to rest and don't you be afraid to bet on that!
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Not until you become a stranger to yourself will you be able to make acquaintance with the Friend.
Mark Twain