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I like a good story well told. That is the reason I am sometimes forced to tell them myself.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Stories
Reason
Wells
Well
Forced
Sometimes
Theatre
Good
Told
Like
Story
Tell

More quotes by Mark Twain

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What do we call love, hate, charity, revenge, humanity, forgiveness? Different results of the master impulse, the necessity of securing one's self-approval.
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The heart is the real fountain of youth.
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Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.
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Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.
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Thanksgiving Day - Let all give humble, hearty, and sincere thanks, now, but the turkeys. In the island of Fiji they do not use turkeys, they use plumbers. It does not become you and me to sneer at Fiji.
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Nothing is so ignorant as a man's left hand, except a lady's watch.
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High and fine literature is wine, and mine is only water but everybody likes water.
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Diligence is a good thing, but taking things easy is much more restful.
Mark Twain
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Sometimes you gwyne to git hurt, en sometimes you gwyne to git sick but every time you's gwyne to git well agin.
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There was things which he stretched, but mainly he told the truth.
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Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection.
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What a curious kind of fool a girl is. Never been licked in school. What's a licking?
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Old habits cannot be thrown out the upstairs window. They have to be coaxed downstairs one step at a time.
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Drag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.
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Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates.
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Among other common lies, we have the silent lie - the deception which one conveys by simply keeping still and concealing the truth. Many obstinate truth-mongers indulge in this dissipation, imagining that if they speak no lie, they lie not at all.
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The Germans are exceedingly fond of Rhine wines they are put up in tall, slender bottles, and are considered a pleasant beverage. One tells them from vinegar by the label.
Mark Twain
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The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened.
Mark Twain
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Etiquette requires us to admire the human race.
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Better a broken promise than none at all.
Mark Twain