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I like a good story well told. That is the reason I am sometimes forced to tell them myself.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Stories
Reason
Wells
Well
Forced
Sometimes
Theatre
Good
Told
Like
Story
Tell
More quotes by Mark Twain
I would not read the proof of one of my books for any fair & reasonable sum whatever, if I could get out of it. The proof-reading on the P & Pauper cost me the last rags of my religion.
Mark Twain
The old man laughed loud and joyously, shook up the details of his anatomy from head to foot, and ended by saying that such a laugh was money in a man's pocket, because it cut down the doctor's bills like everything.
Mark Twain
I always take Scotch whiskey at night as a preventive of toothache. I have never had the toothache and what is more, I never intend to have it.
Mark Twain
You don't know about me, without you have read a book by the name of 'The Adventures of Tom Sawyer,' but that ain't no matter. That book was made by a Mr. Mark Twain, and he told the truth, mainly.
Mark Twain
Worrying is paying interest on a debt you might not even owe.
Mark Twain
I have too much respect for the truth to drag it out on every trifling occasion.
Mark Twain
Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.
Mark Twain
You can tell German wine from vinegar by the label.
Mark Twain
I don't believe any of you have ever read Paradise Lost, and you don't want to. That's something that you just want to take on trust. It's a classic ... something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.
Mark Twain
When I take up one of Jane Austen's books ... I feel like a barkeep entering the kingdom of heaven. I know what his sensation would be and his private comments. He would not find the place to his taste, and he would probably say so.
Mark Twain
You can't make a life over. Society wouldn't let you if you would.
Mark Twain
It is curious and interesting to notice what an attraction a fussy, mincing, nickel-plated word has for you.
Mark Twain
Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates.
Mark Twain
God only exhibits his thunder and lightning at intervals, and so they always command attention.
Mark Twain
A man may plan as much as he wants to, but nothing of consequence is likely to come of it until the magician circumstance steps in and takes the matter off his hands.
Mark Twain
How little a thing can make us happy when we feel that we have earned it.
Mark Twain
I never write metropolis for seven cents when I can write city and get paid the same.
Mark Twain
I was standing in our dining-room thinking of nothing in particular, when a cablegram was put into my hand. It said, 'Susy was peacefully released today.' It is one of the mysteries of our nature that a man, all unprepared, can receive a thunder-stroke like that and live.
Mark Twain
Few things are more irritating than when someone who is wrong is also very effective in making his point.
Mark Twain
No throne exists that has a right to exist, and no symbol of it, flying from any flagstaff, is righteously entitled to wear any device but the skull and crossbones of that kindred industry which differs from royalty only businesswise-merely as retail differs from wholesale.
Mark Twain
