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The first time a student realizes that a little learning is a dangerous thing is when he brings home a poor report card.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
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Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
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More quotes by Mark Twain
Humorists of the 'mere' sort cannot survive. Humor is only a fragrance, a decoration.
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Self-approval is acquired mainly from the approval of other people.
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Names are not always what they seem. The common Welsh name Bzjxxllwcp is pronounced Jackson.
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Heaven is the very last place to come to rest and don't you be afraid to bet on that!
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I speak French with timidity, and not flowingly--except when excited. When using that language I have often noticed that I have hardly ever been mistaken for a Frenchman, except, perhaps, by horses never, I believe, by people.
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A man who keeps company with glaciers comes to feel tolerably insignificant by and by.
Mark Twain
Nature knows no indecencies man invents them.
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I can understand German as well as the maniac that invented it, but I talk it best through an interpreter.
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I am able to say that while I am not ruggedly well, I am not ill enough to excite an undertaker.
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There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce.
Mark Twain
The solution to our water problems is more rain.
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Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.
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Age enlarges and enriches the powers of some musical instruments - notably those of the violin - but it seems to set a piano's teeth on edge.
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It's an epitome of life. The first half of it consists of the capacity to enjoy without the chance the last half consists of the chance without the capacity.
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Principles aren't of much account anyway, except at election time. After that you hang them up to let them season.
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It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. Overnight success is a fallacy. It is preceded by a great deal of preparation. Ask any successful person how they came to this point in their lives, and they will have a story to tell.
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The ordinary chestnut can beget a sickly and reluctant laugh, but it takes a horse chestnut to fetch the gorgeous big horse-laugh.
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When congress is in session no American is safe.
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There are two things nobody should ever have to watch being made, sausage and laws.
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Had double chins all the way down to his stomach.
Mark Twain
