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The first time a student realizes that a little learning is a dangerous thing is when he brings home a poor report card.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
First
Dangerous
Report
Thing
Learning
Card
Time
Realizing
Reports
Poor
Student
Home
Cards
Littles
Brings
Little
Students
Firsts
Danger
Realizes

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We have the best government that money can buy.
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My advice to girls: first, don't smoke - to excess second, don't drink - to excess third, don't marry - to excess.
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A discriminating irreverence is the creator and protector of human liberty.
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We are all beggars, each in his own way.
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I do not like an injurious lie, except when it injures somebody else.
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Ours is the land of the free-nobody denies that-nobody challenges it. (Maybe it is because we won't let other people testify.)
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No man that has ever lived has done a thing to please God--primarily. It was done to please himself, then God next.
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The only people who should use the possessive 'we' are kings, newspaper editors, and persons with tapeworms.
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There are things which some people never attempt during their whole lives, but one of these is not poetry. Poetry attacks all human beings sooner or later, and, like the measles, is mild or violent according to the age of the sufferer.
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In religion and politics, people's belief's and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second hand, and without examination
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One may make their house a palace of sham, or they can make it a home, a refuge.
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Where every man in a state has a vote, brutal laws are impossible.
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I have been cautioned to talk but be careful not to say anything. I do not consider this a difficult task.
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There are two things nobody should ever have to watch being made, sausage and laws.
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Politicians, old buildings, and prostitutes become respectable with age.
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I don't speak German well but several experts have assured me that I write it like an angel. Maybe so, maybe so- I don't know. I've not yet made any acquaintances among the angels. That comes later, whenever it please the Deity. I'm not in any hurry.
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Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to.
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It takes some little time to accept and realize the fact that while you have been growing old, your friends have not been standing still, in that matter.
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Don't dream your life, but live your dream
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Forget and forgive. This is not difficult when properly understood.
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