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He charged nothing for his preaching and it was worth it too.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Inspirational
Nothing
Work
Charged
Preaching
Worth

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The sole impulse which dictates and compels a man's every act: the imperious necessity of securing his own approval, in every emergency and at all costs.... It is our only spur, our whip, our goad, our impelling power we have no other.
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It is easier to manufacture seven facts out of whole cloth than one emotion.
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Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether. A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer. All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.
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Next you'd see a raft sliding by, away off yonder, and maybe a galoot on it chopping. . . you'd see the ax flash and come down-you don't hear nothing you see the ax go up again, and by the time it's above the man's head then you hear the k'chunk!-it had took all that time to come over the water.
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Yes, even I am dishonest. Not in many ways, but in some. Forty-one, I think it is.
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The political and commercial morals of the United States are not merely food for laughter, they are an entire banquet.
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Travel is lethal to prejudice.
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A habit cannot be tossed out the window it must be coaxed down the stairs a step at a time.
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Low comedies are written for the drawing-room, the kitchen and the stable, and if you cut out the kitchen and the stable the drawing-room can't support the play by itself.
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A man who keeps company with glaciers comes to feel tolerably insignificant by and by.
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In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.
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Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
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The art of prophecy is very difficult, especially with respect to the future.
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Etiquette requires us to admire the human race.
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The human being places sexual intercourse above all other joys, but leaves it out of his heaven.
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The dreamer's valuation of a thing lost - not another man's - is the only standard to measure it by, and his grief for it makes it large and great and fine, and is worthy of our reverence in all cases.
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Obscurity and a competence—that is the life that is best worth living.
Mark Twain
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I came in with Halley's Comet in 1835. It is coming again next year, and I expect to go out with it. It will be the greatest disappointment of my life if I don't go out with Halley's Comet. The Almighty has said, no doubt: Now here are these two unaccountable freaks they came in together, they must go out together.
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A man with a hump-backed uncle mustn't make fun of another man's cross-eyed aunt
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Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?
Mark Twain