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Nothing helps scenery like bacon and eggs.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
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Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
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More quotes by Mark Twain
Those people.... early stricken of God, intellectually - the departmental interpreters of the laws in Washington... can always be depended on to take any reasonably good law and interpret the common sense all out of it.
Mark Twain
Between us, we cover all knowledge he knows all that can be known and I know the rest.
Mark Twain
It is easier to manufacture seven facts out of whole cloth than one emotion.
Mark Twain
Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate.
Mark Twain
Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed down-stairs one step at a time.
Mark Twain
Inherited ideas are a curious thing, and interesting to observe and examine.
Mark Twain
A crime persevered in a thousand centuries ceases to be a crime, and becomes a virtue. This is the law of custom, and custom supersedes all other forms of law.
Mark Twain
I have a religion-but you will call it blasphemy. It is that there is a God for the rich man but none for the poor.....Perhaps your religion will sustain you,will feed you-I place no dependence in mine. Our religions are alike, though, in one respect-neither can make a man happy when he is out of luck.
Mark Twain
There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce.
Mark Twain
When one reads Bibles, one is less surprised at what the Deity knows than at what He doesn't know.
Mark Twain
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
Mark Twain
Don't wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.
Mark Twain
Experience, the only logic sure to convince a diseased imagination and restore it to rugged health.
Mark Twain
Prediction is difficult- particularly when it involves the future.
Mark Twain
Every one knew he could foretell wars and famines, though that was not so hard, for there was always a war, and generally a famine somewhere.
Mark Twain
We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - and stop there.
Mark Twain
Yes, always avoid violence. In this age of charity and kindliness, the time has gone by for such things. Leave dynamite to the low and unrefined.
Mark Twain
When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn't want to be seen with him in public. When I was 24, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years.
Mark Twain
If you've got a nice fresh corpse, fetch him out!
Mark Twain
Gratitude and treachery are merely the two extremities of the same procession. You have seen all of it that is worth staying for when the band and the gaudy officials have gone by.
Mark Twain
