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Never argue with people who buy ink by the gallon.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Bladder
Gallons
Barrels
Ink
Argue
Arguing
Never
People
Gallon

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A mine is a hole in the ground with a liar on top.
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They do say that when a man starts down hill everybody is ready to help him with a kick, and I suppose it is so.
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A railroad is like a lie you have to keep building it to make it stand.
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Balloon: Thing to take meteroric observations and commit suicide with.
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the more I know about people, the better I like my dogs.
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Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
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Kings cannot ennoble thee, thou good, great soul, for One who is higher than kings hath done that for thee but a king can confirm thy nobility to men.
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The less a man knows the bigger the noise he makes and the higher the salary he commands.
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Nothing is so ignorant as a man's left hand, except a lady's watch.
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Age enlarges and enriches the powers of some musical instruments - notably those of the violin - but it seems to set a piano's teeth on edge.
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Let us guess that whenever we read a sentence & like it, we unconsciously store it away in our model-chamber & it goes, with the myriad of its fellows, to the building, brick by brick, of the eventual edifice which we call our style.
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We have to keep our God placated with prayer, and even then we are never sure of him-how much higher and finer is the Indian's God...Our illogical God is all-powerful in name, but impotent in fact the Great Spirit is not all-powerful, but does the very best he can for his injun and does it free of charge
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Self-approval is acquired mainly from the approval of other people.
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The government is merely a servant―merely a temporary servant it cannot be its prerogative to determine what is right and what is wrong, and decide who is a patriot and who isn't. Its function is to obey orders, not originate them.
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We take a natural interest in novelties, but it is against nature to take an interest in familiar things.
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Life is short. Forgive quickly, kiss slowly and love truly.
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The reason why truth is so much stranger than fiction is that there is no requirement for it to be consistent.
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Man is the only animal that is cruel. It kills just for the sake of it.
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Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate.
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Agassiz does recommend authors to eat fish, because the phosphorus in it makes brains. But I cannot help you to a decision about the amount you need to eat. Perhaps a couple of whales would be enough.
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