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Love is madness, if thwarted it develops fast.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Fast
Love
Thwarted
Develops
Madness

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My books are like water those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.
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I am always on the side of the revolutionists, because there never was a revolution unless there were some oppressive and intolerable conditions against which to revolute.
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To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal.
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I pledged myself to smoke but one cigar a day. I kept the cigar waiting until bedtime, then I had a luxurious time with it. But desire persecuted me every day and all day long. I found myself hunting for larger cigars...within the month my cigar had grown to such proportions I could have used it as a crutch.
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It consists mainly of the storm of thoughts that is forever blowing through one's head.
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Conductor, when you receive a fare, Punch in the presence of the passenjare. A blue trip slip for an eight-cent fare, A buff trip slip for a six-cent fare, A pink trip slip for a three-cent fare, Punch in the presence of the passenjare! Punch, brothers! punch with care! Punch in the presence of the passenjare!
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God was left out of the Constitution, but was furnished a front seat in this nations currency. (In God we Trust) is a lie, this nations trust has always been with the dollar.
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In early times some sufferer had to sit up with a toothache, and he put in the time inventing the German language.
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Every man has a secret ambition: To outsmart horses, fish and women.
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Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else. This is not advice, it is merely custom.
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Fortune knocks at every man's door once in a life, but in a good many cases the man is in a neighboring saloon and does not hear her.
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People are much more willing to lend you books than bookcases.
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I do love compliments, yet I'm often embarrassed to say what I think to the person when I get a compliment. I so often feel that they have not gone far enough.
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An open mind leaves a chance for someone to drop a worthwhile thought in it.
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Well, no doubt it's a blessed thing to have an imagination that can always make you satisfied, no matter how you are fixed.
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All you drunkards: Put down the intoxicating Vanity Metrics.
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Politicians, old buildings, and prostitutes become respectable with age.
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The cayote is a living, breathing allegory of Want. He is always hungry. He is always poor, out of luck and friendless. The meanest creatures despise him, and even the fleas would desert him for a velocipede.
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Nature knows no indecencies man invents them.
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None but the dead have free speech.
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