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Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Funny
Woman
Two
Every
Unsuccessful
Men
Behinds
Behind
Successful

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Ignorant people think it is the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so it is the sickening grammar that they use.
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We all belong to the nasty stinking little human race, & of course it is not nice for God's beloved vermin to scoff at each other... Oh, we are a nasty little lot-& to think there are people who would like to save us & continue us. It won't happen if I have any influence.
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Love is not a product of reasonings and statistics. It just comes-none knows whence-and cannot explain itself.
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I have achieved my seventy years in the usual way: by sticking strictly to a scheme of life which would kill anybody else... I will offer here, as a sound maxim, this: That we can't reach old age by another man's road.
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Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot. BY ORDER OF THE AUTHOR per G.G., CHIEF OF ORDNANCE
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Congress: America's only true criminal class.
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We are strange beings, we seem to go free, but we go in chains - chains of training, custom, convention, association, environment - in a word, Circumstance, and against these bonds the strongest of us struggle in vain.
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There are people who think that honesty is always the best policy. This is a superstition. There are times when the appearance of it is worth six of it.
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I've come loaded with statistics, for I've noticed that a man can't prove anything without statistics. No man can.
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Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that it ain't so.
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Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.
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Forget and forgive. This is not difficult when properly understood.
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It is better to support schools than jails.
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Whiskey is carried into committee rooms in demijohns and carried out in demagogues.
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The weakest of all weak things is a virtue that has not been tested in the fire.
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Some people get an education without going to college. The rest get it after they get out.
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Life is but a dream, a grotesque and foolish dream.
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Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was that they escaped teething.
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Troubles are only mental it is the mind that manufactures them, and the mind can gorge them, banish them, abolish them.
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You thunder and lightning too much the reader ceases to get under the bed, by and by.
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