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Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Funny
Woman
Two
Every
Men
Unsuccessful
Behinds
Behind
Successful

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Whose property is my body? Probably mine. I so regard it. If I experiment with it, who must be answerable? I, not the State. If I choose injudiciously, does the state die? Oh, no.
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Optimist: day dreamer more elegantly spelled.
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Change is the handmaiden Nature requires to do her miracles with.
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I had longed to be a butterfly, and I was one at last. I attended private parties in sumptuous evening dress, simpered and aired my graces like a born beau, and polkaed and schoisched with a step peculiar to myself - and the kangaroo.
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I should be sorry to think it was the publishers themselves they got up this entire little flutter to enable them to unload a book that was taking too much room in their cellars, but you can never tell what a publisher will do. I have been one myself.
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Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
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Every year you wait, long ago gets farther away.
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Give a man a reputation as an early riser and he can sleep 'til noon.
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Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that it ain't so.
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[The Bible is] a mass of fables and traditions, mere mythology.
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Never let the truth get in the way of a good story.
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We have the best government that money can buy.
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The piano may do for love-sick girls who lace themselves to skeletons, and lunch on chalk, pickles and slate pencils, but give me the banjo.
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In Marseilles they make half the toilet soap we consume in America, but the Marseillaise only have a vague theoretical idea of its use, which they have obtained from books of travel.
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For we were little Christian children and early learned the value of forbidden fruit.
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A man may plan as much as he wants to, but nothing of consequence is likely to come of it until the magician circumstance steps in and takes the matter off his hands.
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He is now rising from affluence to poverty.
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It makes one hope and believe that a day will come when, in the eye of the law, literary property will be as sacred as whiskey, or any other of the necessaries of life. It grieves me to think how far more profound and reverent a respect the law would have for literature if a body could only get drunk on it.
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India has two million gods, and worships them all. In religion all other countries are paupers India is the only millionaire.
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Oh Death where is thy sting! It has none. But life has.
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