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Tea is an affront to lunch and an insult to dinner.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Affront
Tea
Insult
Lunch
Dinner

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To create man was a quaint and original idea, but to add the sheep was tautology.
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We are discreet sheep we wait to see how the drove is going, and then go with the drove.
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Pilgrim's Progress , about a man that left his family, it didn't say why. I read considerable in it now and then. The statements was interesting, but tough.
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I bring you this stately matron named Christendom, returning bedraggled, besmirched, and dishonored from pirate raids in Kiao-Chow, Manchuria, South Africa, and the Phillipines, with her soul full of meanness, her pocket full of boodle, and her mouth full of pious hypocrisies. Give her soap and a towel, but hide the looking-glass.
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The best cure for Christianity is reading the Bible.
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Those who say truth is stranger than fiction have wasted their time on poorly written fiction.
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If you've got a nice fresh corpse, fetch him out!
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If you do read the newspaper you are misinformed.
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Kings cannot ennoble thee, thou good, great soul, for One who is higher than kings hath done that for thee but a king can confirm thy nobility to men.
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If you would beseech a blessing upon yourself, beware! lest without intent you invoke a curse upon a neighbor at the same time.
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Therein lies the defect of revenge: it's all in the anticipation the thing itself is a pain, not a pleasure at least the pain is the biggest end of it.
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Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man himself cannot be written.
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Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates.
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What God lacks is convictions- stability of character. He ought to be a Presbyterian or a Catholic or something- not try to be everything.
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The time to begin writing an article is when you have finished it to your satisfaction. By that time you begin to clearly and logically perceive what it is you really want to say.
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Fame is a vapor, popularity an accident the only earthly certainty is oblivion.
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God could create the world in six days because he didn't have to make it compatible with the previous version. Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company
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Make your vacation your vocation.
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Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection.
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