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Tea is an affront to lunch and an insult to dinner.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Lunch
Dinner
Affront
Tea
Insult

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I never can think of Judas Iscariot without losing my temper. To my mind Judas Iscariot was nothing but a low, mean, premature, Congressman.
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Annihilation has no terrors for me, because I have already tried it before I was born --a hundred million years --and I have suffered more in an hour, in this life, than I remember to have suffered in the whole hundred million years put together.
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We never knew an ignorant person yet but was prejudiced.
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They all laid their heads together like as many lawyers when they are gettin' ready to prove that a man's heirs ain't got any right to his property.
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It is the will of God that we must have critics, and missionaries, and Congressmen, and humorists, and we must bear the burden. Meantime, I seem to have been drifting into criticism myself. But that is nothing. At the worst, criticism is nothing more than a crime, and I am not unused to that.
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Italy is the home of art and swindling home of religion and moral rottenness
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A lie can make it half way around the world before the truth has time to put its boots on.
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Travel has no longer any charm for me. I have seen all the foreign countries I want to except heaven & hell & I have only a vague curiosity about one of those.
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What is the most rigorous law of our being? Growth.
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If smoking cigars is not permitted in heaven, I won''t go.
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Yes, always avoid violence. In this age of charity and kindliness, the time has gone by for such things. Leave dynamite to the low and unrefined.
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France has usually been governed by prostitutes
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It consists mainly of the storm of thoughts that is forever blowing through one's head.
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I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.
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Seasickness: at first you are so sick you are afraid you will die, and then you are so sick you are afraid you won't die.
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in order to make a man or boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to attain.
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France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country.
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Your actions speak so much louder than words.
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No one is willing to acknowledge a fault in himself when a more agreeable motive can be found for the estrangement of his acquaintances.
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Names are not always what they seem. The common Welsh name Bzjxxllwcp is pronounced Jackson.
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