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He has been a doctor a year now and has had two patients - no, three, I think - yes, it was three I attended their funerals.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Thinking
Patient
Funerals
Humor
Attended
Year
Patients
Funny
Funeral
Three
Doctor
Two
Humorous
Years
Medicine
Think
Doctors
More quotes by Mark Twain
There was a great difference in boats, of course. For a long time I was on a boat that was so slow we used to forget what year it was we left port in.
Mark Twain
All men are ignorant, just on different subjects.
Mark Twain
Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eyewitness.
Mark Twain
Whiskey is carried into committee rooms in demijohns and carried out in demagogues.
Mark Twain
Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.
Mark Twain
The Indian may seem poor to we rich Westerners but in matters of the spirit it is we who are the paupers and they who are millionaires.
Mark Twain
A better idea than my own is to listen.
Mark Twain
The more you join with people in their joys and their sorrows, the more nearer and dearer they come to be to you.
Mark Twain
Life is but a dream, a grotesque and foolish dream.
Mark Twain
Some people bring joy wherever they go, and some people bring joy whenever they go.
Mark Twain
The trouble with most of us is that we know too much that ain't so.
Mark Twain
It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.
Mark Twain
It is a mistake that there is no bath that will cure people's manners, but drowning would help.
Mark Twain
I am not the editor of a newspaper and shall always try to do right and be good so that God will not make me one.
Mark Twain
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
Mark Twain
When there was room on the ledge outside of the pots and boxes for a cat, the cat was there- in sunny weather- stretched at full length, asleep and blissful, with her furry belly to the sun and a paw curved over her nose.
Mark Twain
The only people who should use the possessive 'we' are kings, newspaper editors, and persons with tapeworms.
Mark Twain
His money is twice tainted: taint yours and taint mine.
Mark Twain
Familiarity breeds contempt. How accurate that is. The reason we hold truth in such respect is because we have so little opportunity to get familiar with it.
Mark Twain
Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.
Mark Twain
