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I found out that I was a Christian for revenue only and I could not bear the thought of that, it was so ignoble.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Bears
Christian
Found
Political
Thought
Ignoble
Revenue
Bear

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Better a broken promise than none at all.
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To be a patriot, one had to say, and keep on saying, Our Country, right or wrong, and urge on the little war. Have you not perceived that that phrase is an insult to the nation?
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It isn't safe to sit in judgment upon another person's illusion when you are not on the inside. While you are thinking it is a dream, he may be knowing it is a planet.
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How empty is theory in the presence of fact!
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A man may plan as much as he wants to, but nothing of consequence is likely to come of it until the magician circumstance steps in and takes the matter off his hands.
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Time spent with your children is time wisely spent.
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Ours is the land of the free-nobody denies that-nobody challenges it. (Maybe it is because we won't let other people testify.)
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For we were little Christian children and early learned the value of forbidden fruit.
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What is the most rigorous law of our being? Growth.
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Of the delights of this world man cares most for sexual intercourse.
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Indecency, vulgarity, obscenity - these are strictly confined to man he invented them. Among the higher animals there is no trace of them. They hide nothing. They are not ashamed.
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In my schoolboy days I had no aversion to slavery. I was not aware there was anything wrong about it. No-one arraigned it in my hearing the local papers said nothing against it the local pulpit taught us that God approved it, that it was a holy thing, and that the doubter need only look in the Bible if he wished to settle his mind.
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In literature imitations do not imitate.
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Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot. BY ORDER OF THE AUTHOR per G.G., CHIEF OF ORDNANCE
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You can't no more teach what you ain't learned than you can come from where you ain't been.
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A good memory and a tongue tied in the middle is a combination which gives immortality to conversation.
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All Congresses and Parliaments have a kindly feeling for idiots, and a compassion for them, on account of personal experience and heredity.
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The catfish is Plenty good enough fish for anyone
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Worrying is paying interest on a debt you might not even owe.
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France has usually been governed by prostitutes
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