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I found out that I was a Christian for revenue only and I could not bear the thought of that, it was so ignoble.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Bear
Bears
Christian
Found
Political
Thought
Ignoble
Revenue
More quotes by Mark Twain
It is impossible that a genius - at least a literary genius - can ever be discovered by his intimates they are so close to him that he is out of focus to them and they can't get at his proportions they can't perceive that there is any considerable difference between his bulk and their own.
Mark Twain
All emotion is involuntary when genuine.
Mark Twain
Now he found out a new thing--namely, that to promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing.
Mark Twain
I think that the reason why we Americans seem to be so addicted to trying to get rich suddenly is merely because the opportunity to make promising efforts in that direction has offered itself to us with a frequency out of all proportion to the European experience.
Mark Twain
[I] shall never use profanity except in discussing house rent and taxes. Indeed, upon second thought, I will not use it then, for it is unchristian, inelegant, and degrading--though to speak truly I do not see how house rent and taxes are going to be discussed worth a cent without it.
Mark Twain
Heroine: Girl in a book who is saved from drowning by a hero and marries him next week, but if it was to be over again ten years later it is likely she would rather have a life-belt and he would rather have her have it. Hero: Person in a book who does things which he can't and girl marries him for it.
Mark Twain
There are two things nobody should ever have to watch being made, sausage and laws.
Mark Twain
But we are all insane, anyway ... The suicides seem to be the only sane people.
Mark Twain
The humorous story is told gravely the teller does his best to conceal the fact that he even dimly suspects that there is anything funny about it.
Mark Twain
Gratitude is a debt which usually goes on accumulating like blackmail the more you pay, the more is exacted.
Mark Twain
The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened.
Mark Twain
Most of the things I worried about in life never happened.
Mark Twain
We must put up with clothes as they are they have their reason for existing. They are on us to expose us to advertise what we wear them to conceal.
Mark Twain
I felt it was my duty to praise all of God's works with fervent enthusiasm. At the same time I killed flies in my house in a spirit of hatred, exasperation and contempt. My praise to God for all his works was dishonest, the act of killing the fly was honest.
Mark Twain
Do not undervalue the headache. While it is at its sharpest it seems a bad investment but when relief begins, the unexpired remainder is worth $4 a minute.
Mark Twain
The solution to our water problems is more rain.
Mark Twain
Life does not consist mainly - or even largely - of facts and happenings.
Mark Twain
The physician who knows only medicine, knows not even medicine.
Mark Twain
A man with a hump-backed uncle mustn't make fun of another man's cross-eyed aunt
Mark Twain
It was a place of sin, loose women, whiskey and gambling. It was no place for a good Presbyterian, and I did not long remain one.
Mark Twain