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I begin to see that a man's got to be in his own heaven to be happy.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Happiness
Happy
Men
Begin
Heaven

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Manifestly, dying is nothing to a really great and brave man.
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When you catch an adjective, kill it. No, I don't mean utterly, but kill most of them--then the rest will be valuable. They weaken when they are close together. They give strength when they are far apart.
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The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
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Benaras is older than history, older than tradition, older even than legend, and looks twice as old as all of them put together!
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Don't go to sleep, so many people die there.
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I am always reading immoral books on the sly, and then selfishly trying to prevent other people from having the same wicked good time.
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A home without a cat — and a well-fed, well-petted and properly revered cat — may be a perfect home, perhaps, but how can it prove title?
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Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether. A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer. All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.
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It is not worth while to try to keep history from repeating itself, for man's character will always make the preventing of the repetitions impossible.
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Shut the door not that it lets in the cold but that it lets out the coziness.
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Shall we go on conferring our Civilization upon the peoples that sit in darkness, or shall we give those poor things a rest?
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Temperate temperance is best intemperate temperance injures the cause of temperance.
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The truth is a precious commodity. That's why I use it so sparingly.
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Pilgrim's Progress , about a man that left his family, it didn't say why. I read considerable in it now and then. The statements was interesting, but tough.
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The only certainties in life are death and taxes.
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How slow and still the time did drag along.
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Epitaphs are cheap, and they do a poor chap a world of good after he is dead, especially if he had hard luck while he was alive. I wish they were used more.
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What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light.
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There is not a single human characteristic that can be safely labeled as American.
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Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought.
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