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I begin to see that a man's got to be in his own heaven to be happy.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Begin
Heaven
Happiness
Happy
Men

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Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it.
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There are those who scoff at the schoolboy, calling him frivolous and shallow: Yet it was the schoolboy who said 'Faith is believing what you know ain't so'.
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Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.
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There is not a single celebrated Southern name in any of the departments of human industry except those of war, assassination, lynching, murder, the duel, repudiation, & massacre.
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A man may have no bad habits and have worse
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Whenever the human race assembles to a number exceeding four, it cannot stand free speech.
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So far as I am able to judge, nothing has been left undone, either by man or nature, to make India the most extraordinary country that the sun visits on his rounds. Nothing seems to have been forgotten, nothing overlooked.
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Success is a journey, not a destination. It requires constant effort, vigilance and reevaluation.
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Golden rule: Made of hard metal so it could stand severe wear, it not being known at that time that butter would answer.
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Progressive improvement beats delayed perfection.
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But in this country we have one great privilege which they don't have in other countries. When a thing gets to be absolutely unbearable the people can rise up and throw it off. That's the finest asset we've got - the ballot box.
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Nothing is so ignorant as a man's left hand, except a lady's watch.
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It is best to read the weather forecast before praying for rain.
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Plain question and plain answer make the shortest road out of most perplexities.
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The only difference between reality and fiction is that fiction needs to be credible.
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How far we travel in life matters far less than those we meet along the way.
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A discriminating irreverence is the creator and protector of human liberty.
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Do something everyday that you don't want to do.
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A soiled baby with a neglected nose cannot be conscientiously regarded as a thing of beauty.
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We grant God the possession of all the qualities of mind except the one that keeps the others healthy that watches over their dignity that focuses their vision true--humor.
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