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If all men were rich, all men would be poor.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Rich
Poor
Money
Would
Men

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None but an ass pays a compliment and asks a favour at the same time. There are many asses.
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I am always reading immoral books on the sly, and then selfishly trying to prevent other people from having the same wicked good time.
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I do not want Michael Angelo for breakfast-but for luncheon-for dinner- for tea-for supper-for between meals.
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You may honestly feel grateful that homeopathy survived the attempts of the allopaths (orthodoxy) to destroy it.
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Yesterday, everybody smoked his last cigar, took his last drink and swore his last oath. Today, we are a pious and exemplary community. Thirty days from now, we shall have cast our reformation to the winds and gone to cutting our ancient shortcomings considerably shorter than ever.
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The southerner talks music.
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No one can tell me what is a good cigar - for me. I am the only judge. People who claim to know say that I smoke the worst cigars in the world. They bring their own cigars when they come to my house.
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Gratitude is a debt which usually goes on accumulating like blackmail the more you pay, the more is exacted.
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Apparently one of the most uncertain things in the world is the funeral of a religion.
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I would not read the proof of one of my books for any fair & reasonable sum whatever, if I could get out of it. The proof-reading on the P & Pauper cost me the last rags of my religion.
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A sense of humor is the one thing no one will admit to not having.
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Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.
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How stunning are the changes which age makes in a man while he sleeps!
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India has two million gods, and worships them all. In religion all other countries are paupers India is the only millionaire.
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Tis Better to Sit there and LOOK the fool, than to open your mouth and prove it.
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All large political doctrines are rich in difficult problems - problems that are quite above the average citizen's reach. And that is not strange, since they are also above the reach of the ablest minds in the country after all the fuss and all the talk, not one of those doctrines has been conclusively proven to be the right one and the best.
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You can't reason with your heart it has its own laws, and thumps about things which the intellect scorns.
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Let us consider that we are all insane. It will explain us to each other. It will unriddle many riddles
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There is nothing in the world like persuasive speech to fuddle the mental apparatus.
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What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.
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