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Of the delights of this world man cares most for sexual intercourse.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Men
Intercourse
World
Cares
Sexual
Delight
Heaven
Left
Light
Care
Delights

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The happy phrasing of a compliment is one of the rarest of human gifts, and the happy delivery of it another.
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As for the dinosaur - But Noah's conscience was easy it was not named in his cargo list and he and the boys were not aware that there was such a creature. He said he could not blame himself for not knowing about the dinosaur, because it was an American animal and America had not then been discovered.
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How superbly brave is the Englishman in the presence of the awfulest forms of danger and death and how abject in the presence of any and all forms of hereditary rank.
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Greece is a bleak, unsmiling desert, without agriculture, manufactures or commerce, apparently. What supports its poverty-stricken people or its Government, is a mystery.
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That cat will write her autograph all over your leg if you let her.
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A man may plan as much as he wants to, but nothing of consequence is likely to come of it until the magician circumstance steps in and takes the matter off his hands.
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in order to make a man or boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to attain.
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But soft you, the fair Ophelia: Ope not thy ponderous and marble jaws, But get thee to a nunnery - go!
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Do not complain about growing old. It is a privilege denied to many.
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Out of the unconscious lips of babes and sucklings are we satirized.
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Honor is a harder master than the law.
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Probably there is an imperceptible touch of something permanent that one feels instinctively to adhere to true humour, whereas wit may be the mere conversational shooting up of smartness--a bright feather, to be blown into space the second after it is launched...Wit seems to be counted a very poor relation to Humour....Humour is never artifici
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We have an insanity plea that would have saved Cain.
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Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion - several of them.
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Those people.... early stricken of God, intellectually - the departmental interpreters of the laws in Washington... can always be depended on to take any reasonably good law and interpret the common sense all out of it.
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Human Beings are the only animals that blush, or need to.
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When a man's dog turns against hime, it is time for his wife to pack her trunk and go home to mamma.
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Never be haughty to the humble, never be humble to the haughty.
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April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.
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Civilization largely consists in hiding human nature. When the barbarian learns to hide it we account him enlightened.
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