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I'm pushing 60 years of age...and that's enough exercise for me.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Exercise
Age
Enough
Years
Pushing
Humorous

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How lovely is death and how niggardly it is doled out.
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A jay hasnt got any more principle than a Congressman. A jay will lie, a jay will steal, a jay will deceive, a jay will betray and four times out of five, a jay will go back on his solemnest promise.
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There are two things nobody should ever have to watch being made, sausage and laws.
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Constellations have always been troublesome things to name. If you give one of them a fanciful name, it will always refuse to live up to it it will always persist in not resembling the thing it has been named for.
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I've seen many troubles in my time, only half of which ever came true.
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There isn't any way to libel the human race.
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The old man laughed loud and joyously, shook up the details of his anatomy from head to foot, and ended by saying that such a laugh was money in a man's pocket, because it cut down the doctor's bills like everything.
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To trust the God of the Bible is to trust an irascible, vindictive, fierce and ever fickle and changeful master.
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There is no other life life itself is only a vision and a dream for nothing exists but space and you. If there was an all-powerful God, he would have made all good, and no bad.
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Never knew before what eternity was made for. It is to give some of us a chance to learn German.
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You can't throw too much style into a miracle.
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Is not this insanity plea becoming rather common? Is it not so common that the reader confidently expects to see it offered in every criminal case that comes before the courts?... Really, what we want now, is not laws against crime, but a law against insanity.
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Don't wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.
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Always tell the truth then you don't have to remember anything
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No child should be permitted to grow up without exercise for imagination. It enriches life for him. It makes things wonderful and beautiful.
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Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.
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Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that it ain't so.
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I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want.
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It is not what a man knows, but what he thinks of in time.
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There is no God, no universe, no human race, no earthly life, no heaven, no hell. It is all a dream, a grotesque and foolish dream. Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought -a vagrant thought, a useless thought, a homeless thought, wandering forlorn among the empty eternities!
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