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I'm pushing 60 years of age...and that's enough exercise for me.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Age
Enough
Years
Pushing
Humorous
Exercise

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Inherited ideas are a curious thing, and interesting to observe and examine.
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No man that has ever lived has done a thing to please God--primarily. It was done to please himself, then God next.
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It is better to be a young June-bug than an old bird of paradise.
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Really, what we want now, is not laws against crime, but a law against insanity. That is where the true evil lies.
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Yes, always avoid violence. In this age of charity and kindliness, the time has gone by for such things. Leave dynamite to the low and unrefined.
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Never do wrong when people are looking.
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I don't want my girl to be so skinny she can knife me with her knee.
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These are the true and only God, mighty and supreme.
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Even popularity can be overdone. In Rome, along at first, you are full of regrets that Michelangelo died but by and by, you only regret that you didn't see him do it.
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There warn't anybody at the church, except maybe a hog or two, for there warn't any lock on the door, and hogs likes a puncheon floor in summer-time because it's cool. If you notice, most folks don't go to church only when they've got to but a hog is different.
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I was exceedingly delighted with the waltz, and also with the polka. These differ in name, but there the difference ceases
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The fear of lightning is one of the most distressing infirmities a human being can be afflicted with. It is mostly confined to women, but now and then you find it in a little dog, and sometimes a man.
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The highest pleasure to be got out of freedom, and having nothing to do, is labor.
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To place man properly at the present time, he stands somewhere between the angels and the French.
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Is a person's public and private opinion the same? It is thought there have been instances.
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Not a single right is indestructible: a new might can at any time abolish it, hence, man possesses not a single permanent right. God is Might (and He is shifty, malicious, and uncertain).
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And so when I couldn't stand it no longer, I lit out. I got into my old rags and my sugar-hogshead again, and was free and satisfied.
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It is a time when one's spirit is subdued and sad, one knows not why when the past seems a storm-swept desolation, life a vanity and a burden, and the future but a way to death.
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Let us guess that whenever we read a sentence & like it, we unconsciously store it away in our model-chamber & it goes, with the myriad of its fellows, to the building, brick by brick, of the eventual edifice which we call our style.
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I have achieved my seventy years in the usual way: by sticking strictly to a scheme of life which would kill anybody else... I will offer here, as a sound maxim, this: That we can't reach old age by another man's road.
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