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I have criticized absent people so often, and then discovered, to my humiliation, that I was talking with their relatives, that I have grown superstitious about that sort of thing and dropped it.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
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Criticized
Talking
Superstitious
Often
Dropped
Thing
Humiliation
People
Absent
Grown
Discovered
Discovery
Relatives

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Of course, no man is entirely in his right mind at any time.
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The law is a system that protects everybody who can afford to hire a good lawyer.
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The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
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I've dealt with many crises in my life, but few will ever happen.
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The miracle or the power that elevates the few is to be found in their industry, application and perseverance under the promptings of a brave, determined spirit.
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We recognize that there are no trivial occurrences in life if we get the right focus on them.
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One holds a bottle of red wine by the neck, a woman by the waist, and a bottle of champagne by the derriere.
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The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.
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The best of us would rather be popular than right.
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It may have happened, it may not have happened but it could have happened.
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The history of our race, and each individual’s experience, are sown thick with evidence that a truth is not hard to kill and that a lie told well is immortal.
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I am always on the side of the revolutionists, because there never was a revolution unless there were some oppressive and intolerable conditions against which to revolute.
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Annihilation has no terrors for me, because I have already tried it before I was born --a hundred million years --and I have suffered more in an hour, in this life, than I remember to have suffered in the whole hundred million years put together.
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There is no God, no universe, no human race, no earthly life, no heaven, no hell. It is all a dream, a grotesque and foolish dream. Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought -a vagrant thought, a useless thought, a homeless thought, wandering forlorn among the empty eternities!
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The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.
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You know that kind of quiver that trembles around through you when you are seeing something so strange and enchanting and wonderful that it is just a fearful joy to be alive and look at it and you know how you gaze, and your lips turn dry and your breath comes short, but you wouldn't be anywhere but there, not for the world.
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The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
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