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He was such a good man that people hated to see him coming.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Hated
Coming
Good
Men
People

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Your actions speak so much louder than words.
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It is the will of God that we must have critics and missionaries and congressmen and humorists, and we must bear the burden
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We don't care to eat toadstools that think they are truffles.
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If I cannot smoke in heaven, then I shall not go.
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Duties are not performed for duty's sake, but because their neglect would make the man uncomfortable. A man performs but one duty - the duty of contenting his spirit, the duty of making himself agreeable to himself.
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I respect a man who knows how to spell a word more than one way.
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I begin to see that a man's got to be in his own heaven to be happy.
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I don't want my girl to be so skinny she can knife me with her knee.
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I am dead to adverbs they cannot excite me. To misplace an adverb is a thing which I am able to do with frozen indifference it can never give me a pang. There are subtleties which I cannot master at all - they confuse me, they mean absolutely nothing to me - and this adverb plague is one of them.
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Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.
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Let your secret sympathies and your compassion be always with the under dog in the fight -- this is magnanimity but bet on the other one -- this is business.
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Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.
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The government is merely a servant―merely a temporary servant it cannot be its prerogative to determine what is right and what is wrong, and decide who is a patriot and who isn't. Its function is to obey orders, not originate them.
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A good lawyer knows the law a clever one takes the judge to lunch.
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One can enjoy a rainbow without necessarily forgetting the forces that made it.
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I admire him, I frankly confess it and when his time is come I shall buy a piece of the rope for a keepsake.
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The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.
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The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture he will never get a set which can really be depended on 'till a dentist makes him one.
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America cannot have an empire abroad and a Republic at home.
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We don't cut up when mad men are bred by the old legitimate regular stock religions, but we can't allow wildcat religions to indulge in such disastrous experiments.
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