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He was such a good man that people hated to see him coming.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Hated
Coming
Good
Men
People

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It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
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The pulpit and the optimist are always talking about the human race's steady march toward ultimate perfection. As usual, they leave out the statistics. It is the pulpit's way - the optimist's way.
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Fame is a vapor, popularity an accident the only earthly certainty is oblivion.
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Inherited ideas are a curious thing, and interesting to observe and examine.
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The most outrageous lies that can be invented will find believers if a person only tells them with all his might.
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Hero: Person in a book who does things which he can't and girl marries him for it.
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In the laboratory there are no fustian ranks, no brummagem aristocracies the domain of Science is a republic, and all its citizens are brothers and equals, its princes of Monaco and its stonemasons of Cromarty meeting, barren of man-made gauds and meretricious decorations, upon the one majestic level!
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It makes one hope and believe that a day will come when, in the eye of the law, literary property will be as sacred as whiskey, or any other of the necessaries of life. It grieves me to think how far more profound and reverent a respect the law would have for literature if a body could only get drunk on it.
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A banker is somebody who lends you an umbrella & takes it away as soon as it starts raining.
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In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.
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We love old travelers: we love to hear them prate, drivel and lie we love them for their asinine vanity, their ability to bore, their luxuriant fertility of imagination, their startling, brilliant, overwhelming mendacity.
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Manifestly, dying is nothing to a really great and brave man.
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When your opinions start to coincide with those of the majority, it is time to reconsider your opinions.
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He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.
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The Indian may seem poor to we rich Westerners but in matters of the spirit it is we who are the paupers and they who are millionaires.
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A man can be a Christian or a patriot, but he can't legally be a Christian and a patriot - except in the usual way: one of the two with the mouth, the other with the heart.
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For we were little Christian children and early learned the value of forbidden fruit.
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Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.
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I prefer milk because I am a Prohibitionist, but I do not go to it for inspiration.
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You can never find a Christian who has acquired this valuable knowledge, this saving knowledge, by any process but the everlasting and all-sufficient 'people say.'
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