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He was such a good man that people hated to see him coming.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Good
Men
People
Hated
Coming

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It is easier for a cannibal to enter the Kingdom of Heaven through the eye of a rich man's needle that it is for any other foreigner to read the terrible German script.
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Sufficient unto the day is one baby. As long as you are in your right mind don't you ever pray for twins. Twins amount to a permanent riot and there ain't any real difference between triplets and a insurrection. - The Babies speech 1879
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If I cannot smoke in heaven, then I shall not go.
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Where every man in a state has a vote, brutal laws are impossible.
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Only he who has seen better days and lives to see better days again knows their full value.
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Yes, even I am dishonest. Not in many ways, but in some. Forty-one, I think it is.
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The lie, as a virtue, a principle, is eternal the lie, as a recreation, a solace, a refuge in time of need, the fourth Grace, the tenth Muse, man's best and surest friend is immortal
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How stunning are the changes which age makes in a man while he sleeps!
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It is impossible that a genius - at least a literary genius - can ever be discovered by his intimates they are so close to him that he is out of focus to them and they can't get at his proportions they can't perceive that there is any considerable difference between his bulk and their own.
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The government is merely a servant―merely a temporary servant it cannot be its prerogative to determine what is right and what is wrong, and decide who is a patriot and who isn't. Its function is to obey orders, not originate them.
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when we badly want a thing, we go to hunting for good and righteous reasons for it we give it that fine name to comfort our consciences, whereas we privately know we are only hunting for plausible ones.
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You thunder and lightning too much the reader ceases to get under the bed, by and by.
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A railroad is like a lie you have to keep building it to make it stand.
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I am dead to adverbs they cannot excite me. To misplace an adverb is a thing which I am able to do with frozen indifference it can never give me a pang. There are subtleties which I cannot master at all - they confuse me, they mean absolutely nothing to me - and this adverb plague is one of them.
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Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
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When angry, count to four when very angry, swear.
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We have to keep our God placated with prayer, and even then we are never sure of him-how much higher and finer is the Indian's God...Our illogical God is all-powerful in name, but impotent in fact the Great Spirit is not all-powerful, but does the very best he can for his injun and does it free of charge
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Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?
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There's a good spot tucked away somewhere in everybody. You'll be a long time finding it, sometimes.
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It has been said that a Scotchman has not seen the world until he has seen Edinburgh and I think that I may say that an American has not seen the United States until he has seen Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
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