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France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Winter
Neither
Summer
Fine
Moral
Drawbacks
Country
Morals
France
Apart

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Wit and Humor - if any difference, it is in duration - lightning and electric light. Same material, apparently but one is vivid, and can do damage - the other fools along and enjoys elaboration.
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Too bad that youth is wasted on the young.
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The only difference between reality and fiction is that fiction needs to be credible.
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Twenty-four years ago I was strangely handsome in San Francisco in the rainy season I was often mistaken for fair weather.
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Germany, the diseased world's bathhouse.
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The humorous writer professes to awaken and direct your love, your pity, your kindness--your scorn for untruth, pretension, imposture....He takes upon himself to be the week-day preacher.
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I have too much respect for the truth to drag it out on every trifling occasion.
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I am admonished in many ways that time is pushing me inexorably along. I am approaching the threshold of age in 1977 I shall be 142.
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When an audience does not complain, it is a compliment, and when it does, it is a compliment, too, if unaccompanied by violence.
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A dozen direct censures are easier to bear than one morganatic compliment.
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The altar cloth of one aeon is the doormat of the next.
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Half of the results of a good intentions are evil half the results of an evil intention are good.
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Data is like garbage. You'd better know what you are going to do with it before you collect it.
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These are the true and only God, mighty and supreme.
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Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.
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The Book of Mormon is chloroform in print
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Laws are sand, customs are rock. Laws can be evaded and punishment escaped, but an openly transgressed custom brings sure punishment.
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Wherefore being all of one mind, we do highly resolve that government of the grafted by the grafter for the grafter shall not perish from the earth.
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Training- training is everything training is all there is to a person. We speak of nature it is folly there is no such thing as nature what we call by that misleading name is merely heredity and training. We have no thoughts of our own, no opinions of our own they are transmitted to us, trained into us.
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