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It is agreed, in this country, that if a man can arrange his religion so that it perfectly satisfies his conscience, it is not incumbent on him to care whether the arrangement is satisfactory to anyone else or not.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Anyone
Satisfies
Whether
Satisfactory
Religion
Arrange
Else
Arrangement
Care
Agreed
Country
Arrangements
Men
Perfectly
Incumbent
Conscience
Incumbents

More quotes by Mark Twain

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He [George Washington Cable] has taught me to abhor and detest the Sabbath day and hunt up new and troublesome ways to dishonor it.
Mark Twain
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The law of work does seem utterly unfair-but there it is, and nothing can change it: the higher the pay in enjoyment the worker gets out of it, the higher shall be his pay in cash, too.
Mark Twain
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Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.
Mark Twain
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Man is without doubt the most interesting fool there is. He concedes that God made the angels immune from pain and death, and that he could have been similarly kind to man, but denies that he was under any moral obligation to do so.
Mark Twain
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Next you'd see a raft sliding by, away off yonder, and maybe a galoot on it chopping. . . you'd see the ax flash and come down-you don't hear nothing you see the ax go up again, and by the time it's above the man's head then you hear the k'chunk!-it had took all that time to come over the water.
Mark Twain
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Ignorant people think it is the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so it is the sickening grammar that they use.
Mark Twain
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There's a good spot tucked away somewhere in everybody. You'll be a long time finding it, sometimes.
Mark Twain
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I do love compliments, yet I'm often embarrassed to say what I think to the person when I get a compliment. I so often feel that they have not gone far enough.
Mark Twain
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We all belong to the nasty stinking little human race, & of course it is not nice for God's beloved vermin to scoff at each other... Oh, we are a nasty little lot-& to think there are people who would like to save us & continue us. It won't happen if I have any influence.
Mark Twain
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Ignorance, intolerance, egotism, self-assertion, opaque perception, dense and pitiful chuckle headedness - and an almost pathetic unconsciousness of it all, that is what I was at nineteen and twenty.
Mark Twain
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Not a single right is indestructible: a new might can at any time abolish it, hence, man possesses not a single permanent right. God is Might (and He is shifty, malicious, and uncertain).
Mark Twain
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Our best built certainties are but sand-houses and subject to damage from any wind of doubt that blows
Mark Twain
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The Book of Mormon is chloroform in print
Mark Twain
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What's the use you learning to do right , when it's troublesome to do right and it ain't no trouble to do wrong, and the wages is just the same?
Mark Twain
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More than two hundred death penalties are gone from the law books, but the [biblical] texts that authorised them remain.
Mark Twain
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A person that started in to carry a cat home by the tail was gitting knowledge that was always going to be useful to him, and warn't ever going to grow dim or doubtful.
Mark Twain
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The piano may do for love-sick girls who lace themselves to skeletons, and lunch on chalk, pickles and slate pencils, but give me the banjo.
Mark Twain
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Choosing not to read is like closing an open door to paradise
Mark Twain
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The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes.
Mark Twain
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I have been born more times than anybody except Krishna.
Mark Twain