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The gentle reader will never, never know what a consummate ass he can become until he goes abroad.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Ass
Gentle
Travel
Reader
Goes
Become
Consummate
Never
Supposition
Abroad

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Distance lends enchantment to the view.
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A mine is a hole in the ground with a liar on top.
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Don't look at the world with your hands in your pockets. To write about it you have to reach out and touch it.
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The altar cloth of one aeon is the doormat of the next.
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One must keep one's character. Earn a character first if you can, and if you can't, then assume one.
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None but an ass pays a compliment and asks a favour at the same time. There are many asses.
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The public is the only critic whose judgment is worth anything at all.
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The joy of killing! the joy of seeing killing done - these are traits of the human race at large.
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Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates.
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Authorship is not a trade, it is an inspiration authorship does not keep an office, its habitation is all out under the sky, and everywhere the winds are blowing and the sun is shining and the creatures of God are free.
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Next you'd see a raft sliding by, away off yonder, and maybe a galoot on it chopping. . . you'd see the ax flash and come down-you don't hear nothing you see the ax go up again, and by the time it's above the man's head then you hear the k'chunk!-it had took all that time to come over the water.
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Go to bed early, get up early-this is wise.
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In the real world, nothing happens at the right place at the right time. It is the job of journalists and historians to correct that.
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I am living a new and exalted life of late. It steeps me in a sacred rapture to see a portrait develop and take soul under my hand. First, I throw off a study - just a mere study, a few apparently random lines - and to look at it you would hardly ever suspect who it was going to be even I cannot tell, myself.
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Newport, Rhode Island, that breeding place-that stud farm, so to speak-of aristocracy aristocracy of the American type.
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He has been a doctor a year now and has had two patients - no, three, I think - yes, it was three I attended their funerals.
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There ain't nothing more to write about and I'm rotten glad of it, because if I'd know'd what trouble it was to make a book, I wouldn't a tackled it.
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All large political doctrines are rich in difficult problems - problems that are quite above the average citizen's reach. And that is not strange, since they are also above the reach of the ablest minds in the country after all the fuss and all the talk, not one of those doctrines has been conclusively proven to be the right one and the best.
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The best cure for Christianity is reading the Bible.
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Write without pay until somebody offers to pay.
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