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True irreverence is disrespect for another man's god.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Another
True
Men
Irreverence
Disrespect

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The election makes me think of a story of a man who was dying. He had only two minutes to live, so he sent for a clergyman and asked him, Where is the best place to go to? He was undecided about it. So the minister told him that each place had its advantages--heaven for climate, and hell for society.
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Optimist: day-dreamer in his small clothes.
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Whenever a copyright law is to be made or altered, then the idiots assemble.
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She is not refined. She is not unrefined. She keeps a parrot
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There are two things nobody should ever have to watch being made, sausage and laws.
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The pause - that impressive silence, that eloquent silence, that geometrically progressive silence which often achieves a desired effect where no combination of words, howsoever felicitous, could accomplish it.
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The public is the only critic whose judgment is worth anything at all.
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It may be called the Master Passion, the hunger for self-approval.
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The kingly office is entitled to no respect. It was originally procured by the highwayman's methods. It remains a perpetuated crime, can never be anything but the symbol of a crime. It is no more entitled to respect than is the flag of a pirate.
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Experience, the only logic sure to convince a diseased imagination and restore it to rugged health.
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Sometimes you gwyne to git hurt, en sometimes you gwyne to git sick but every time you's gwyne to git well agin.
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You can't no more teach what you ain't learned than you can come from where you ain't been.
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[On Dutch flat poetry]: It is too smooth and blubbery it reads like butter-milk gurgling from a jug.
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Let your joy be unconfined!
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The proverb says that Providence protects children and idiots. This is really true. I know because I have tested it.
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There is only one expert who is qualified to examine the souls and the life of a people and make a valuable report - the native novelist. ... And when a thousand able novels have been written, there you have the soul of the people and not anywhere else can these be had.
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The two Testaments are interesting, each in its own way. The Old one gives us a picture of these people's Deity as he was before he got religion, the other one gives us a picture of him as he appeared afterward.
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The Mississippi River will always have its own way no engineering skill can persuade it to do otherwise.
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There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce.
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The sole impulse which dictates and compels a man's every act: the imperious necessity of securing his own approval, in every emergency and at all costs.... It is our only spur, our whip, our goad, our impelling power we have no other.
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