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A conspiracy is nothing but a secret agreement of a number of men for the pursuance of policies which they dare not admit in public

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Public
Policies
Secret
Agreement
Nothing
Admit
Men
Investing
Dare
Number
Policy
Pursuance
Numbers
Conspiracy

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The two Testaments are interesting, each in its own way. The Old one gives us a picture of these people's Deity as he was before he got religion, the other one gives us a picture of him as he appeared afterward.
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We despise all reverences and all objects of reverence which are outside the pale of our list of sacred things. And yet, with strange inconsistency, we are shocked when other people despise and defile the things which are holy to us.
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Benefit of clergy: Half-rate on the railroad.
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When an audience does not complain, it is a compliment, and when it does, it is a compliment, too, if unaccompanied by violence.
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Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.
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Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress but I repeat myself.
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If to be interesting is to be uncommonplace, it is becoming a question, with me, if there are any commonplace people
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No one can tell me what is a good cigar - for me. I am the only judge. People who claim to know say that I smoke the worst cigars in the world. They bring their own cigars when they come to my house.
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Better a broken promise than none at all.
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If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could to-day.
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I don't mind what the opposition say of me so long as they don't tell the truth about me. But when they descend to telling the truth about me I consider that this is taking an unfair advantage.
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In early times some sufferer had to sit up with a toothache, and he put in the time inventing the German language.
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How empty is theory in the presence of fact!
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When one's character begins to fall under suspicion and disfavor, how swift, then, is the work of disintegration and destruction.
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Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July and as a rule they don't know what happened on either occasion.
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We take a natural interest in novelties, but it is against nature to take an interest in familiar things.
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Now, isn't imagination a precious thing? It peoples the earth with all manner of wonders.
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It is my custom to keep on talking until I get the audience cowed.
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The humorous story is American, the comic story is English, the witty story is French. The humorous story depends for its effect upon the manner of the tellingthe comic and the witty story upon the matter.
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