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A soiled baby with a neglected nose cannot be conscientiously regarded as a thing of beauty.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Baby
Beauty
Cannot
Conscientiously
Thing
Soiled
Neglected
Regarded
Nose
Noses

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A sincere compliment is always grateful to a lady, so long as you don't try to knock her down with it.
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I was dead for millions of years before I was born and it never inconvenienced me a bit.
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Every year you wait, long ago gets farther away.
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I hope all of us may eventually be together in everlasting peace and bliss -- except the inventor of the # telephone .
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If you have nothing to say, say nothing.
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We consider that any man who can fiddle all through one of those Virginia Reels without losing his grip may be depended upon in any kind of musical emergency.
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The test of any good fiction is that you should care something for the characters the good to succeed, the bad to fail. The trouble with most fiction is that you want them all to land in hell, together, as quickly as possible.
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To be a patriot, one had to say, and keep on saying, Our Country, right or wrong, and urge on the little war. Have you not perceived that that phrase is an insult to the nation?
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A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.
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Fortune knocks at every man's door once in a life, but in a good many cases the man is in a neighboring saloon and does not hear her.
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No man that has ever lived has done a thing to please God--primarily. It was done to please himself, then God next.
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This is the year 1492. I am eighty-two years of age. The things I am going to tell you are things which I saw myself as a child and as a youth.
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A man who carries a cat by the tail is getting experience that will always be helpful. He isn't likely to grow dim or doubtful. Chances are, he isn't likely to carry the cat that way again, either. But if he wants to, I say let him!
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Some civilized women would lose half their charm without dress and some would lose all of it.
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Let us guess that whenever we read a sentence & like it, we unconsciously store it away in our model-chamber & it goes, with the myriad of its fellows, to the building, brick by brick, of the eventual edifice which we call our style.
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The only certainties in life are death and taxes.
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