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....try the mustard, - a man can't know what turnips are in perfection without mustard.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Perfection
Without
Trying
Men
Turnips
Mustard

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Whenever a copyright law is to be made or altered, then the idiots assemble.
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Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate.
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Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that it ain't so.
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To create man was a quaint and original idea, but to add the sheep was tautology.
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Life is short. Forgive quickly, kiss slowly and love truly.
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The less a man knows the bigger the noise he makes and the higher the salary he commands.
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The ancients stole all our ideas from us.
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Education is what you must acquire without any interference from your schooling.
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In my schoolboy days I had no aversion to slavery. I was not aware there was anything wrong about it. No-one arraigned it in my hearing the local papers said nothing against it the local pulpit taught us that God approved it, that it was a holy thing, and that the doubter need only look in the Bible if he wished to settle his mind.
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Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else. This is not advice, it is merely custom.
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Frankness is a jewel only the young can afford it.
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It is human to exaggerate the merits of the dead.
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If you've got a nice fresh corpse, fetch him out!
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Prophesy is a good line of business, but it is full of risks.
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Nothing is so ignorant as a man's left hand, except a lady's watch.
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Never knew before what eternity was made for. It is to give some of us a chance to learn German.
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One thing at a time, is my motto - and just play that thing for all it is worth, even if it's only tto pair and a jack.
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As a rule we develop a borrowed European idea forward, and ... Europe develops a borrowed American idea backwards.
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A banker is somebody who lends you an umbrella & takes it away as soon as it starts raining.
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