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....try the mustard, - a man can't know what turnips are in perfection without mustard.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Trying
Men
Turnips
Mustard
Perfection
Without

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What a world of trouble those who never marry escape! There are many happy matches, it is true, and sometimes my dear, and my love come from the heart but what sensible bachelor, rejoicing in his freedom and years of discretion, will run the tremendous risk?
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It is not what a man knows, but what he thinks of in time.
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Methuselah lived to be 969 years old . You boys and girls will see more in the next fifty years than Methuselah saw in his whole lifetime.
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Writing is easy. All you have to do is cross out the wrong words.
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A good and wholesome thing is a little harmless fun in this world it tones a body up and keeps him human and prevents him from souring.
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Learn from the mistakes of others - you won't live long enough to make them all yourself. He's opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer him the position.
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The reason most people don't go to church is because they've already been.
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We all like to see people sea-sick when we are not ourselves.
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All good things arrive unto them that wait - and don't die in the meantime.
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A lie can make it half way around the world before the truth has time to put its boots on.
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I have spent most of my time worrying about things that have never happened. Worrying is not an action! In fact, it is action that alleviates concern and dissipates worries. Take more actions when you feel that worry is creeping in to steal your time. It need not be a huge action, any action in the direction you want to go will do.
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You ought never to sass old people- unless they sass you first.
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Comedy keeps the heart sweet but we all know that there is wholesome refreshment for both mind and heart in an occasional climb among the pomps of the intellectual snow-summits built by Shakespeare and those others.
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I was educated once - it took me years to get over it.
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In the beginning of a change the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot.
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I've come loaded with statistics, for I've noticed that a man can't prove anything without statistics. No man can.
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I have always been rather better treated in San Francisco than I actually deserved.
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Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
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Give a man a reputation as an early riser and he can sleep 'til noon.
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Man is the only animal that is cruel. It kills just for the sake of it.
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