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You can't break a bad habit by throwing it out the window. You've got to walk it slowly down the stairs.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Stairs
Throwing
Slowly
Window
Habit
Walk
Walks
Break

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Life is but a dream, a grotesque and foolish dream.
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Sane and intelligent human beings are like all other human beings, and carefully and cautiously and diligently conceal their private real opinions from the world and give out fictitious ones in their stead for general consumption.
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Jesus died to save men - a small thing for an immortal to do - and didn't save many, anyway. But if he had been damned for the race, that would have been act of a size proper to a god, and would have saved the whole race.
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Difference between savage and civilized man: one is painted, the other gilded.
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The Koran does not permit Mohammedans to drink. Their natural instincts do not permit them to be moral. They say the Sultan has eight hundred wives. This almost amounts to bigamy.
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Loyalty to the country always. Loyalty to the government when it deserves it.
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I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want.
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The human race is a race of cowards and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.
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No public interest is anything other or nobler than a massed accumulation of private interests.
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I suppose, just as an honest man in politics shines more than he would elsewhere.
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Conformity—the natural instinct to passively yield to that vague something recognized as authority.
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My father was an amazing man. The older I got, the smarter he got.
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I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.
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To create man was a quaint and original idea, but to add the sheep was tautology.
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The trouble with most of us is that we know too much that ain't so.
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When a man's dog turns against hime, it is time for his wife to pack her trunk and go home to mamma.
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A habit cannot be tossed out the window it must be coaxed down the stairs a step at a time.
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The funniest things are the forbidden.
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We adore titles and heredities in our hearts and ridicule them with our mouths. This is our democratic privilege.
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