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You can't break a bad habit by throwing it out the window. You've got to walk it slowly down the stairs.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Habit
Walk
Walks
Break
Stairs
Throwing
Slowly
Window

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Write without pay until somebody offers to pay.
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Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.
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it is not wise to keep the fire going under a slander unless you can get some large advantage out of keeping it alive. Few slanders can stand the wear of silence.
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Never pick a fight with people who buy ink by the barrel.
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A man with a hump-backed uncle mustn't make fun of another man's cross-eyed aunt
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No one is willing to acknowledge a fault in himself when a more agreeable motive can be found for the estrangement of his acquaintances.
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When a library expels a book of mine and leaves an unexpurgated Bible lying around where unprotected youth and age can get hold of it, the deep unconscious irony of it delights me and doesn't anger me.
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There has been only one Christian. They caught and curcified him-early.
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Braveness is resistance to concern, mastery of panic - not absense of anxiety.
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Total abstinence is so excellent a thing that it cannot be carried to too great an extent. In my passion for it I even carry it so far as to totally abstain from total abstinence itself.
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Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.
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It takes some little time to accept and realize the fact that while you have been growing old, your friends have not been standing still, in that matter.
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Love is madness, if thwarted it develops fast.
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Each nation knowing it has the only true religion and the only sane system of government, each despising all the others, each an ass and not suspecting it.
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Yes, even I am dishonest. Not in many ways, but in some. Forty-one, I think it is.
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If I were going to construct a God I would furnish him with some ways and qualities and characteristics which the Present One lacks... He would spend some of His eternities in trying to forgive Himself for making man unhappy when He could have made him happy with the same effort and He would spend the rest of them in studying astronomy.
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Make your vacation your vocation.
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If I had more time, I would have written less.
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No man, deep down in the privacy of his heart, has any considerable respect for himself.
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When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.
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