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A good memory and a tongue tied in the middle is a combination which gives immortality to conversation.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Giving
Immortality
Good
Combination
Tongue
Memory
Conversation
Gives
Memories
Middle
Tied

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You can't make a life over. Society wouldn't let you if you would.
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We all live in the protection of certain cowardices which we call our principles.
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It's lovely to live on a raft. We had the sky up there, all speckled with stars, and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them, and discuss about whether they was made or only just happened.
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God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.
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The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.
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for business reasons, I must preserve the outward signs of sanity.
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It shames the average man to be valued below his own estimate of his worth.
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There is nothing more awe-inspiring than a miracle except the credulity that can take it at par.
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If to be interesting is to be uncommonplace, it is becoming a question, with me, if there are any commonplace people
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Be good and you'll be lonesome
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Man has imagined a heaven, and has left entirely out of it the supremest of all his delights...sexual intercourse!...His heaven is like himself: strange, interesting, astonishing, grotesque. I give you my word, it has not a single feature in it that he actually values.
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For we were little Christian children and early learned the value of forbidden fruit.
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Humor, to be comprehensible to anybody, must be built upon a foundation with which he is familiar. If he can't see the foundation the superstructure is to him merely a freak -- like the Flatiron building without any visible means of support -- something that ought to be arrested.
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One compliment can keep me going for a whole month.
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I have thought many times since that if poets when they get discouraged would blow their brains out, they could write very much better when they got well.
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Forget and forgive. This is not difficult when properly understood.
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Dates are hard to remember because they consist of figures figures are monotonously unstriking in appearance, and they don't take hold, they form no pictures, and so they give the eye no chance to help. Pictures are the thing. Pictures can make dates stick.
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It was on the 10th day of May - 1884 - that I confessed to age by mounting spectacles for the first time, and in the same hour I renewed my youth, to outward appearance, by mounting a bicycle for the first time. The spectacles stayed on.
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Happiness ain't a thing in itself -it's only a contrast with something that ain't pleasant. And so, as soon as the novelty is over and the force of the contrast dulled, it ain't happiness any longer, and you have to get something fresh.
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The art of prophecy is very difficult, especially with respect to the future.
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