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A good memory and a tongue tied in the middle is a combination which gives immortality to conversation.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Good
Combination
Tongue
Memory
Conversation
Gives
Memories
Middle
Tied
Giving
Immortality

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We write frankly and freely, but then we modify before we print.
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There is only one expert who is qualified to examine the souls and the life of a people and make a valuable report - the native novelist. ... And when a thousand able novels have been written, there you have the soul of the people and not anywhere else can these be had.
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I think that the reason why we Americans seem to be so addicted to trying to get rich suddenly is merely because the opportunity to make promising efforts in that direction has offered itself to us with a frequency out of all proportion to the European experience.
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Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.
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Of the delights of this world man cares most for sexual intercourse.
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If man had created man, he would be ashamed of his performance.
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God rewards gamblers and fools. The crucial thing, when you win, is knowing which you were.
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There is not a single celebrated Southern name in any of the departments of human industry except those of war, assassination, lynching, murder, the duel, repudiation, & massacre.
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Damn these human beings if I had invented them I would go hide my head in a bag.
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I wish I could make him understand that a loving good heart is riches enough, and that without it intellect is poverty.
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Travel has no longer any charm for me. I have seen all the foreign countries I want to except heaven & hell & I have only a vague curiosity about one of those.
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From his cradle to his grave a man never does a single thing which has any FIRST AND FOREMOST object but one -- to secure peace of mind, spiritual comfort, for HIMSELF.
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When a man's dog turns against hime, it is time for his wife to pack her trunk and go home to mamma.
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My land, the power of training! Of influence! Of education! It can bring a body up to believe anything.
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Life does not consist mainly - or even largely - of facts and happenings.
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They say that you can't live by bread alone, but I can live on compliments.
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That is just the way with some people. They get down on a thing when they don’t know nothing about it.
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Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man himself cannot be written.
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We are all beggars, each in his own way.
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The difference between fiction and nonfiction is that fiction must be absolutely believable.
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