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A monarch, when good, is entitled to the consideration which we accord to a pirate who keeps Sunday School between crimes when bad, he is entitled to none at all.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Crime
Royalty
School
Accord
Good
Crimes
Entitled
Consideration
Sunday
Monarch
Keeps
Monarchs
None
Pirate

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A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.
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In India, 'cold weather' is merely a conventional phrase and has come into use through the necessity of having some way to distinguish between weather which will melt a brass door-knob and weather which will only make it mushy.
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Morals are not the important thing-nor enlightenment-nor civilization. A man can do absolutely well without them, but he can't do without something to eat. The supremest thing is the need of the body, not of the mind and spirit.
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If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could to-day.
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Whiskey is for drinking water is for fighting over.
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What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.
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It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
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Of course, no man is entirely in his right mind at any time.
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Now, isn't imagination a precious thing? It peoples the earth with all manner of wonders.
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While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats.
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Be virtuous and you will be eccentric.
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A newspaper is not just for reporting the news as it is, but to make people mad enough to do something about it.
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Do not undervalue the headache. While it is at its sharpest it seems a bad investment but when relief begins, the unexpired remainder is worth $4 a minute.
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He charged nothing for his preaching and it was worth it too.
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The calamity that comes is never the one we had prepared ourselves for.
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