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A wise man does not waste so good a commodity as lying for naught.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Waste
Wise
Lying
Doe
Good
Men
Naught
Commodity

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Progressive improvement beats delayed perfection.
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There is no salvation for us but to adopt Civilization and lift ourselves down to its level.
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If I cannot smoke in heaven, then I shall not go.
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The universal brotherhood of man is our most precious possession.
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Pity is for the living, envy is for the dead. Death, the refuge, the solace, the best and kindliest and most prized friend and benefactor of the erring, the forsaken, the old and weary and broken of heart.
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when you recollect something which belonged in an earlier chapter, do not go back, but jam it in where you are . Discursiveness does not hurt an autobiography in the least.
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It isn't safe to sit in judgment upon another person's illusion when you are not on the inside. While you are thinking it is a dream, he may be knowing it is a planet.
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My idea of our civilization is that it is a shoddy, poor thing and full of cruelties, vanities, arrogances, meannesses and hypocrisies.
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Well, my book is written-let it go. But if it were only to write over again there wouldn't be so many things left out. They burn in me and they keep multiplying but now they can't ever be said. And besides, they would require a library-and a pen warmed up in hell.
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What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light.
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Plain question and plain answer make the shortest road out of most perplexities.
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An author values a compliment even when it comes from a source of doubtful competency.
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It takes some little time to accept and realize the fact that while you have been growing old, your friends have not been standing still, in that matter.
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When the end of the world comes, I want to be in Kentucky, because everything there happens 20 years after it happens anywhere else.
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To gnaw on is human, towards digest, divine.
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Sufficient unto the day is one baby. As long as you are in your right mind don't you ever pray for twins. Twins amount to a permanent riot and there ain't any real difference between triplets and a insurrection. - The Babies speech 1879
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A friend is someone who stays in when the rest of the world has gone out.
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Honor is a harder master than the law.
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The past does not repeat itself, but it rhymes.
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God's great cosmic joke on the human race was requiring that men and women live together in marriage
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